Poor Gracie has been suffering with a bout of sickness for the past few weeks, and while she is normally a trooper, she has had this rash that has been really rough on her.
The other day, when I got the call to pick her up from school I rushed over there and the poor kids arms were swollen and covered in a horrible rash. Last week we were told she had strep and a rash to go with it, but clearly something else was going on. First we went to Starbucks for a little treat and then we went directly to the doctor. Of course being the crazy Steph-Mom I am we went into the doctors office and I insisted (nicely) they help out Gracie NOW. While waiting, and waiting, and waiting for the doctor we played games (mostly her favorite "I Spy"), read some books, cuddled a little and made up stories. They finally diagnosed her with Fifths Disease (which isn't a huge deal right now), got her some medicine, wrapped things up and got on our way.
While we were walking to the car I was holding Gracie's hand and she looked up at me and said "Stephanie, thank you for taking care of me. I really really love you. You make my heart shine." I mean come on - it doesn't get any better than that. I literally started to tear up. It was the sweetest and one of the best things that anyone has ever said to me. Ugh if she only knew how much she makes my heart burst with shine!
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Saturday, November 8, 2014
The 8 Kinds of Steph-Mom I Want to be....
Nightly when I finally take a moment to sit down and peruse my news feed, I find I'm bombarded with all kinds of articles like...."6 Things I need my daughter to know", "What makes a successful mother", "15 things dads of daughters MUST do", "The Golden Rules of Step-parenting", etc. There are articles about "types" of children, "type" of parents, and sadly, criticizing those "types" of parents and kids. The information can so often be overwhelming, and makes me feel like I always have to keep up. Now, I'm not naive; I'm acutely aware of the fact that I'm a Step-Mom and not a full blown mom but I do see myself as a parent and take my role seriously. Lets be honest though, there are so many options for Step-Parents and in
many ways it's an unconventional role that all of us need to navigate
in a different way than the biological parents. But at the same time,
aren't we all (step-parent or otherwise), just trying to figure it out?
Tonight, while scrolling through the onslaught of tiring articles it got me to thinking... there really are no articles about what kind of parent do you want to be? And even more so, what kind of parent do I want to be? There is SO much information about raising the "perfect" children, but what about raising ourselves? How do I want Gracie to see me? Essentially, what do I want to be for her? So, I really thought about it and came up with the following list of who I want to be. Surely no one is perfect, and I am aware that I am far from it - but if I can make an effort to at least hit a few of these things on a daily or weekly basis I think I might be on a good track.
1. Most importantly I want to be present. Both literally and figuratively. I want to be here for Gracie, and for her to know that I am. I want to be an ever present force in her life. I spend a good deal of time at school volunteering and having lunch with her - even on days she is with her mom. this has proven to be huge for her. I can't pretend that I know exactly the effects of this, but what I do know is that she smiles from ear to ear and becomes VERY excited when I am at school. I want to be interactive with her. I spend time planning play dates, science club and am researching Girl Scout (and maybe being a GS leader - YIKES). I just want to be as big of a part of her life as I can so she knows she can count on me. As I've mentioned before, I have had trouble looking for work, but when I look back I really see it as a blessing in disguise. There have been bursts of times where I have freelanced for work, but during these bursts I would leave when Gracie was asleep and wouldn't get home until way after she was asleep. The most recent freelance job I had was during her summer vacation, so she would try to stay up late with all of her might to see me. But midnight, 1:00am, etc was just too much for a 5 year old. It broke both of our hearts just a little. What that has taught me is - I want to be present with her. I need to work on putting the computer, phone and ipad down when we are together and work on being present with each other.
2. I want her to be proud of me. One day, I want Gracie to look at me and say "That's My Step-Mom". And I think trying to do all of the things on this list will hopefully make this true one day.
3. I want to be a good role model / example. I believe that the best way to be a good role model is to lead by example. As I mentioned earlier, I am fully aware that I'm not perfect and I surely make my fair share of mistakes; But if I can be more conscious about being a good example hopefully the good will outweigh the bad. I want to show her how and why being generous and kind to others is so important, I want her to see how to care/ nurture for other people, I want her to value the things in her life - and not just expect them, I want her to see me be a good friend and see why having girlfriends and good friends is so vital in life, I want her to value family, and see why following your dreams and being true to yourself is so important.
4. I want to be Fun. This may seem like a given, but anyone who knows me, knows that I naturally can tend to be serious and at times, tend to take myself too seriously. I want to dance with her more, enjoy small moments, do fun activities, try new adventures, etc. with her. I want to laugh with Gracie more, I want to show her not to "sweat the small stuff" and most importantly teach her to laugh at herself. Because let's face it, when we can laugh at ourselves life is not only easier for us, but certainly also makes us easier to be around. Furthermore, a good sense of humor is key to obtaining a healthy and happy life (at least that is what I think) and I'd rather laugh than cry any day.
5. I want to be a parent first, and friend close second. Ugh this is the one that REALLY pains me to write. Because, well, my mom would always say this to me and it would annoy me SO much. Ugh. But she is so right (dam it!). It is my job to guide, teach and care for her and sometimes be a "mean" mom - one day I know she will thank me (ugh dam it, I'm sounding like my mom again).
6. I want to provide a safe, cozy and loving home that is a safe haven. I want to provide a home that is filled with love and is loving. I want our home to be a place where Gracie feels the safest - a place where she says I can't wait to go home! I also want our home to be a place where we show her what love really means and provide a good solid example of a successful relationship (no pressure! ha).
7. Guide without criticizing. I think we alllll know what I'm talking about here.
8. I want to be confident and less self deprecating. Somewhere along the way, most women (myself included) find it easier to be self deprecating than to be confident about themselves. This includes who we are on the inside and out. There are so many times when I catch myself in a conversation with Gracie. She'll say Stephanie you look so pretty and I'll say, Oh thanks but my hair is a mess or I wish this fit better. Without missing a best she'll reply with No you don't, DON'T say that! And she is right! How am I supposed to expect her to be confident but not be confident myself. I want her to see my drive and confidence to go back to school. I want her to see (through me) that we can do anything we want to do if we just put our minds to it. I really need to work on this one - but I'm really hoping to get there because I think this really is vital to her success and happiness.
I know this list is ambitious and my goals are lofty. However I think if we don't focus on who we want to be for our kids, we can easily get overwhelmed and swayed in all different kinds of directions. So many Step-Parent articles talk about taking a "backseat" and just being a "support system" for the family. Unfortunately, I'm not a sit back and observe kind of girl and if I have a chance to be a force in her life - I'm going to. I love Gracie with all my heart and I really want to be the best me for her! Obviously what is right for me, probably won't be right for you, but what I believe to be true is that if there is love - we can all produce happy, healthy and confident kids who value relationships, themselves, and others (and hopefully one day, their parents).
Tonight, while scrolling through the onslaught of tiring articles it got me to thinking... there really are no articles about what kind of parent do you want to be? And even more so, what kind of parent do I want to be? There is SO much information about raising the "perfect" children, but what about raising ourselves? How do I want Gracie to see me? Essentially, what do I want to be for her? So, I really thought about it and came up with the following list of who I want to be. Surely no one is perfect, and I am aware that I am far from it - but if I can make an effort to at least hit a few of these things on a daily or weekly basis I think I might be on a good track.
1. Most importantly I want to be present. Both literally and figuratively. I want to be here for Gracie, and for her to know that I am. I want to be an ever present force in her life. I spend a good deal of time at school volunteering and having lunch with her - even on days she is with her mom. this has proven to be huge for her. I can't pretend that I know exactly the effects of this, but what I do know is that she smiles from ear to ear and becomes VERY excited when I am at school. I want to be interactive with her. I spend time planning play dates, science club and am researching Girl Scout (and maybe being a GS leader - YIKES). I just want to be as big of a part of her life as I can so she knows she can count on me. As I've mentioned before, I have had trouble looking for work, but when I look back I really see it as a blessing in disguise. There have been bursts of times where I have freelanced for work, but during these bursts I would leave when Gracie was asleep and wouldn't get home until way after she was asleep. The most recent freelance job I had was during her summer vacation, so she would try to stay up late with all of her might to see me. But midnight, 1:00am, etc was just too much for a 5 year old. It broke both of our hearts just a little. What that has taught me is - I want to be present with her. I need to work on putting the computer, phone and ipad down when we are together and work on being present with each other.
2. I want her to be proud of me. One day, I want Gracie to look at me and say "That's My Step-Mom". And I think trying to do all of the things on this list will hopefully make this true one day.
3. I want to be a good role model / example. I believe that the best way to be a good role model is to lead by example. As I mentioned earlier, I am fully aware that I'm not perfect and I surely make my fair share of mistakes; But if I can be more conscious about being a good example hopefully the good will outweigh the bad. I want to show her how and why being generous and kind to others is so important, I want her to see how to care/ nurture for other people, I want her to value the things in her life - and not just expect them, I want her to see me be a good friend and see why having girlfriends and good friends is so vital in life, I want her to value family, and see why following your dreams and being true to yourself is so important.
4. I want to be Fun. This may seem like a given, but anyone who knows me, knows that I naturally can tend to be serious and at times, tend to take myself too seriously. I want to dance with her more, enjoy small moments, do fun activities, try new adventures, etc. with her. I want to laugh with Gracie more, I want to show her not to "sweat the small stuff" and most importantly teach her to laugh at herself. Because let's face it, when we can laugh at ourselves life is not only easier for us, but certainly also makes us easier to be around. Furthermore, a good sense of humor is key to obtaining a healthy and happy life (at least that is what I think) and I'd rather laugh than cry any day.
5. I want to be a parent first, and friend close second. Ugh this is the one that REALLY pains me to write. Because, well, my mom would always say this to me and it would annoy me SO much. Ugh. But she is so right (dam it!). It is my job to guide, teach and care for her and sometimes be a "mean" mom - one day I know she will thank me (ugh dam it, I'm sounding like my mom again).
6. I want to provide a safe, cozy and loving home that is a safe haven. I want to provide a home that is filled with love and is loving. I want our home to be a place where Gracie feels the safest - a place where she says I can't wait to go home! I also want our home to be a place where we show her what love really means and provide a good solid example of a successful relationship (no pressure! ha).
7. Guide without criticizing. I think we alllll know what I'm talking about here.
8. I want to be confident and less self deprecating. Somewhere along the way, most women (myself included) find it easier to be self deprecating than to be confident about themselves. This includes who we are on the inside and out. There are so many times when I catch myself in a conversation with Gracie. She'll say Stephanie you look so pretty and I'll say, Oh thanks but my hair is a mess or I wish this fit better. Without missing a best she'll reply with No you don't, DON'T say that! And she is right! How am I supposed to expect her to be confident but not be confident myself. I want her to see my drive and confidence to go back to school. I want her to see (through me) that we can do anything we want to do if we just put our minds to it. I really need to work on this one - but I'm really hoping to get there because I think this really is vital to her success and happiness.
I know this list is ambitious and my goals are lofty. However I think if we don't focus on who we want to be for our kids, we can easily get overwhelmed and swayed in all different kinds of directions. So many Step-Parent articles talk about taking a "backseat" and just being a "support system" for the family. Unfortunately, I'm not a sit back and observe kind of girl and if I have a chance to be a force in her life - I'm going to. I love Gracie with all my heart and I really want to be the best me for her! Obviously what is right for me, probably won't be right for you, but what I believe to be true is that if there is love - we can all produce happy, healthy and confident kids who value relationships, themselves, and others (and hopefully one day, their parents).
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Our Mad Scientist
Gracie has become a budding little scientist and really seems to like everything "science". Whenever anyone asks her the age old question of what do you want to be when you grow up? she says (with great enthusiasm) A SCIENTIST. Which, I have to say I love! Chances are she probably won't grow up to be a scientist, but I am surely going to foster her love for science while she is so into it - I mean there are way worse things in my opinion that she could love (like Monster High, Miley Cyrus, Sexy Halloween Costumes, etc, but I digress). So, when a flyer came home for the new "Mad Scientist" club at school, we were so excited because it was a perfect after school activity for her to do - and to learn more about school. Except we hit a SNAFU that I can't really get into, but it was beyond my control and unfortunately she can't participate in the science club. (ugh). She was seriously so disappointed when we told her she couldn't do the club, and while I am no scientist (lets be honest Science is not my "thing") and it would be more fun to learn from the "experts" I was not going to let her go without.
So...DUM DUH DAH DAH!.... The Steph-Mom created our very own at-home-very-exclusive Science Club! Gracie was SUPER excited!! Since I am not much of an inventive or knowledgeable scientist I had to spend some serious time with my close friend, Google. But it didn't let me down and I found tons and tons of at-home science experiments. Thank You Internet!
It is my goal to do super fun and interactive experiments to help encourage her love of science. So the first experiment we did was Elephant Toothpaste. At first, we miserably failed this experiment as nothing really happened when we mixed the ingredients together. We were both so disappointment. So with nothing to lose, i decided to play with the ingredients a little bit and low and behold it worked! As Gracie squealed with delight, the Elephant Toothpaste exploded out of the bottle and into our pan. We did this a few times and then she played in the foam that wound up in our cake pan. She was so excited, she couldn't wait until her Dad got home so she could show him her "big" experiment. I used this opportunity to talk about the science of mixing ingredients, etc. and while her Dad is more eloquent in this subject matter she really seemed to learn something. Which was my point and hope.
Gracie loved our little club and she felt special that we were doing something science related together. I still think the Mad Scientist club at school would have been better for her, but I will do my best to make up for it at home weekly. Here are some photos of our BIG experiment.
So...DUM DUH DAH DAH!.... The Steph-Mom created our very own at-home-very-exclusive Science Club! Gracie was SUPER excited!! Since I am not much of an inventive or knowledgeable scientist I had to spend some serious time with my close friend, Google. But it didn't let me down and I found tons and tons of at-home science experiments. Thank You Internet!
It is my goal to do super fun and interactive experiments to help encourage her love of science. So the first experiment we did was Elephant Toothpaste. At first, we miserably failed this experiment as nothing really happened when we mixed the ingredients together. We were both so disappointment. So with nothing to lose, i decided to play with the ingredients a little bit and low and behold it worked! As Gracie squealed with delight, the Elephant Toothpaste exploded out of the bottle and into our pan. We did this a few times and then she played in the foam that wound up in our cake pan. She was so excited, she couldn't wait until her Dad got home so she could show him her "big" experiment. I used this opportunity to talk about the science of mixing ingredients, etc. and while her Dad is more eloquent in this subject matter she really seemed to learn something. Which was my point and hope.
Gracie loved our little club and she felt special that we were doing something science related together. I still think the Mad Scientist club at school would have been better for her, but I will do my best to make up for it at home weekly. Here are some photos of our BIG experiment.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Handmade Halloween....And a Heaping Handful of Hardwork
Well another "holiday" is upon us, and almost behind us, so its only natural that I got swept away by all the fun and excitement and wound up overdoing it....again. I think I might have a problem. Do I regret it? Absolutely not! Am I exhausted and still recovering? 1000000%
We definitely wouldn't have been able to pull this party off without the help of both CJ's and my mom. They both really got into the spirit of things, did a GREAT job interacting with the kids and my mom even broke out her scary witch costume that all of the kids LOVED! I am certain that one day Abbie will look back on this party and not only remember how much fun we had preparing and partying, but also how great her Oma (CJ's mom) and Grandma Lily (my mom) were that day - its one of those memories that I think will take her through a lifetime. I vividly remember my Grandmother at pretty much all of my parties and events as a kid, and now as an adult having those memories of her are absolutely priceless to me! I am so so happy that Gracie is making those same kind of memories! Here's Grandma Lily and Oma in all their glory:
.jpg)
Halloween and celebrations started earlier than normal for us this year, which was totally fine with me. We went to the store and picked out the perfect Elsa costume (of course) for Gracie. But then we realized, ugh, we don't have her for Halloween. What are we going to do with this costume now and how are we going to have some Halloween fun of our own. I quickly got to the computer and started Googling. Of course all the local Halloween festivals, etc. are on a weekend we also don't have Gracie. Ugh. But never fear! The Steph-Mom is here! We had decided we will have a Halloween party with Gracie's classmates.
At first we thought we'd just have a pumpkin decorating party. But, naturally, I quickly got carried away and started planning like a crazy person. Because we couldn't have just a normal pumpkin party. We had to have something that hopefully all the kids (and most importantly Gracie) would remember. I have to say, CJ though did have the best idea for reigning me in a little bit - he suggested having the party at the local park instead of our home. And I have to say, this truly was the best idea of the whole shin dig! For Real!
So, I quickly hit Pinterest. I started pinning, and planning, and pinning, and planning, and pinning and planning. I finally narrowed down my lists of games and treats, but by the time I had a plan in place we only had 2 weeks until the party. sure, no problem. ha!
Before I get into all of my Pinterest projects that I was successful with, I will say that I also had A LOT of major fails with this stuff too. I mean major and at one point I wasn't sure if I'd even be able to pull this party off.
Of course I had to start with the most perfect party invitations. This should have been an easy task, but the options of Pinterest can sometimes be overwhelming and finding 'just the right one' took me longer than I'd like to care to admit. But we finally wound up with the following from Lia Griffith at Handcraft Your Life (click on image to get to her incredible website / blog). I wound up choosing her invitation because it was cute and SUPER easy to customize and print on my computer. She also has a ton of other cute printables that I printed - but didn't wind up using because, well frankly I ran out of time.
Next were the envelopes. Unfortunately the above invitations didn't come with a 'do-it-yourself' envelope (probably because most of the people who use her site aren't as cheap as me and will just buy envelopes). So, I had to search out a way to make my own envelopes. So luckily enough I found a template here.
Next up it was time for the menu. I decided on Frankenstein Rice Krispie Treats (i put my own spin on them though), Pumpkin Rice Krispie Treats (except I made mine with Gluten :) ), eye ball pretzels (my own creation, so sorry no "how to" link), tangerine pumpkins, banana ghosts, marshmallow pops, witch hats, monster munch, monster mouths and witches brew with gummy worm ice and a frozen red hand (by filling up a disposable glove with water and red food coloring and freezing it). I'll be honest I tried a few other things but they were such big fails that I didn't even take photos of them, but you can use your imagination :) Here are some photos of our food spread:
Then it was time for the games! This is where I dug into my 'old school' archives and came up with some simple stuff we did as kids, found the cheapest crafts and come up with everything I could. I have to say The Dollar Tree was my savior for this party. I got all of our serving trays, decorations, etc super cheap there and they really made this party possible. Additionally, they had games for, well, $1 when Target had the SAME EXACT games for $5 or $7.50 (ish). The kids really LOVED everything we played and seemed to really enjoy being entertained. We started the day off with toilet paper mummies, then did a doughnut on a string eating game, followed by mask painting, monster making, Pinata busting and finally ended with a competitive game of Halloween Bingo.
All in all I have to say it was an awesome day, with great friends and we made some lifelong memories. We didn't spend much money at all, but it will be a fun day we will remember for a long time to come....which of course is always my goal with my Gracie. She is amazing and special and deserves to have happy memories just as much as the next kid! .... but I'd be lying if I said if I wasn't over Halloween at this point :)
We definitely wouldn't have been able to pull this party off without the help of both CJ's and my mom. They both really got into the spirit of things, did a GREAT job interacting with the kids and my mom even broke out her scary witch costume that all of the kids LOVED! I am certain that one day Abbie will look back on this party and not only remember how much fun we had preparing and partying, but also how great her Oma (CJ's mom) and Grandma Lily (my mom) were that day - its one of those memories that I think will take her through a lifetime. I vividly remember my Grandmother at pretty much all of my parties and events as a kid, and now as an adult having those memories of her are absolutely priceless to me! I am so so happy that Gracie is making those same kind of memories! Here's Grandma Lily and Oma in all their glory:
Halloween and celebrations started earlier than normal for us this year, which was totally fine with me. We went to the store and picked out the perfect Elsa costume (of course) for Gracie. But then we realized, ugh, we don't have her for Halloween. What are we going to do with this costume now and how are we going to have some Halloween fun of our own. I quickly got to the computer and started Googling. Of course all the local Halloween festivals, etc. are on a weekend we also don't have Gracie. Ugh. But never fear! The Steph-Mom is here! We had decided we will have a Halloween party with Gracie's classmates.
At first we thought we'd just have a pumpkin decorating party. But, naturally, I quickly got carried away and started planning like a crazy person. Because we couldn't have just a normal pumpkin party. We had to have something that hopefully all the kids (and most importantly Gracie) would remember. I have to say, CJ though did have the best idea for reigning me in a little bit - he suggested having the party at the local park instead of our home. And I have to say, this truly was the best idea of the whole shin dig! For Real!
So, I quickly hit Pinterest. I started pinning, and planning, and pinning, and planning, and pinning and planning. I finally narrowed down my lists of games and treats, but by the time I had a plan in place we only had 2 weeks until the party. sure, no problem. ha!
Before I get into all of my Pinterest projects that I was successful with, I will say that I also had A LOT of major fails with this stuff too. I mean major and at one point I wasn't sure if I'd even be able to pull this party off.
Of course I had to start with the most perfect party invitations. This should have been an easy task, but the options of Pinterest can sometimes be overwhelming and finding 'just the right one' took me longer than I'd like to care to admit. But we finally wound up with the following from Lia Griffith at Handcraft Your Life (click on image to get to her incredible website / blog). I wound up choosing her invitation because it was cute and SUPER easy to customize and print on my computer. She also has a ton of other cute printables that I printed - but didn't wind up using because, well frankly I ran out of time.
Next were the envelopes. Unfortunately the above invitations didn't come with a 'do-it-yourself' envelope (probably because most of the people who use her site aren't as cheap as me and will just buy envelopes). So, I had to search out a way to make my own envelopes. So luckily enough I found a template here.
Then it was time for the games! This is where I dug into my 'old school' archives and came up with some simple stuff we did as kids, found the cheapest crafts and come up with everything I could. I have to say The Dollar Tree was my savior for this party. I got all of our serving trays, decorations, etc super cheap there and they really made this party possible. Additionally, they had games for, well, $1 when Target had the SAME EXACT games for $5 or $7.50 (ish). The kids really LOVED everything we played and seemed to really enjoy being entertained. We started the day off with toilet paper mummies, then did a doughnut on a string eating game, followed by mask painting, monster making, Pinata busting and finally ended with a competitive game of Halloween Bingo.
All in all I have to say it was an awesome day, with great friends and we made some lifelong memories. We didn't spend much money at all, but it will be a fun day we will remember for a long time to come....which of course is always my goal with my Gracie. She is amazing and special and deserves to have happy memories just as much as the next kid! .... but I'd be lying if I said if I wasn't over Halloween at this point :)
Monday, October 20, 2014
To Teach or Not To Teach (and an uncertain foray into Crowdfunding)
Let me start by saying, yes, I have been adequately warned about becoming a teacher. In fact, every person who I speak to about potentially getting certified to teach discourages me with all their might. I mean every. single. person.
However, ever since CJ and I have met, I have been in a transition over my job and struggling to find work. Even though I have been home a lot and dream of being a Stay-At-Home Mom, I really do need to work in order for our family to obtain some more security. However, any kind of decent work, with benefits is really hard to come by here in this part of FL - especially for a TV Producer.
So I've been think, think, thinking. It might really be time for a career change. But what should I do? I've narrowed down my search to Social Work, Nursing and most of all Teaching. Ever since I was a little girl I had always seen myself teaching. I have been volunteering a lot at Gracie's school and I absolutely love it. I love elementary education and everything about it. So I started to research what exactly I'd need to do in order to become certified in the State of Florida. I was pleasantly surprised to see that since I already have a Bachelors degree I can just get certified through several routes for not very much money (relatively speaking).
As far as the naysayers go, I hear you. But let me ask this? If every person who wants to teach and make a difference in the lives the next generation is discouraged, who will be teaching our kids in 10 years? That thought just makes me so sad.
I think for me, and for our family, teaching is a great option. It not only provides a stable income, but also provides benefits and retirement. All things that we basically don't have now (for so many reasons). Additionally the hours are good for us and it would be great for Gracie if I could have the summers off with her (and any other children that might come along).
In any event, this is something that I am REALLY considering but am struggling to find the finances to start pursuing the certification. So I thought I'd give crowdfunding a chance and see what happens. I feel so funny, so silly and sooooo weird crowdfunding, but I thought hey, so many other people have done it and I really need to kick this redirection into high gear - so why not? Here's the link to check it out:
http://www.gofundme.com/Sbearkland
However, ever since CJ and I have met, I have been in a transition over my job and struggling to find work. Even though I have been home a lot and dream of being a Stay-At-Home Mom, I really do need to work in order for our family to obtain some more security. However, any kind of decent work, with benefits is really hard to come by here in this part of FL - especially for a TV Producer.
So I've been think, think, thinking. It might really be time for a career change. But what should I do? I've narrowed down my search to Social Work, Nursing and most of all Teaching. Ever since I was a little girl I had always seen myself teaching. I have been volunteering a lot at Gracie's school and I absolutely love it. I love elementary education and everything about it. So I started to research what exactly I'd need to do in order to become certified in the State of Florida. I was pleasantly surprised to see that since I already have a Bachelors degree I can just get certified through several routes for not very much money (relatively speaking).
As far as the naysayers go, I hear you. But let me ask this? If every person who wants to teach and make a difference in the lives the next generation is discouraged, who will be teaching our kids in 10 years? That thought just makes me so sad.
I think for me, and for our family, teaching is a great option. It not only provides a stable income, but also provides benefits and retirement. All things that we basically don't have now (for so many reasons). Additionally the hours are good for us and it would be great for Gracie if I could have the summers off with her (and any other children that might come along).
In any event, this is something that I am REALLY considering but am struggling to find the finances to start pursuing the certification. So I thought I'd give crowdfunding a chance and see what happens. I feel so funny, so silly and sooooo weird crowdfunding, but I thought hey, so many other people have done it and I really need to kick this redirection into high gear - so why not? Here's the link to check it out:
http://www.gofundme.com/Sbearkland
Sunday, October 19, 2014
We are an official family!
It's finally a done deal - We are married! Back in September CJ, Gracie and Myself became an "official" family! The day we got married was truly the best day of my / our lives. The day was magical and everything I could have ever wished for. Money is still very tight so it was a small event, but was so special and filled with love and support from some of the most special people in our lives.
We went back and forth as far as how small we wanted the wedding, how much we'd actually spend and should we just go to the court house? At the end of the day I'm a true believer in the saying "it's not about the wedding, but about the marriage", so we were torn - do we spend the money or not? On the other hand, I felt it was really important to let Gracie see us get married, see the ceremony and to feel part of the marriage. I think the ceremony helps children (in some cases) literally see us progress into being a "family", see the relationship become a marriage and in turn provide them with a sort of security. I also think it helps for me to have the official step-mom title, and even though our relationship was great before, I really do think the wedding / marriage has strengthened our bond. To be an official family, and to be Gracie's official step-mom really means everything to me. I find it hard to find the words describe the feeling. But it feels good.
It seems so silly, but being married has brought such a nice sense of security to our every day lives. While planning and stressing about the wedding my mother would say to me you have been living together for a while, will it really make that big of a difference to be married? And I would think to myself maybe? is she right? But in all honesty the answer is unequivocally yes. To me, it has made a difference. It doesn't "complete" me (which it shouldn't), but I don't know, things just seem to feel more secure. We feel more like a family. It means so much to me to have the same last name as CJ and Gracie. It means so much to me to say I'm Gracie's Step-Mom when I'm at school. I feel like our relationship is solid, to have a partner in life and to be growing old with someone is something I have dreamed about my whole life. I know marriage isn't for everyone - but so far I have to say I really enjoy being married (I'll let you know how I feel about this in a few years hahaha)
Of course, as with a lot of things in life, marriage has its ups and downs. But so far its been up for us. In the time we have been together we have been through SO much and our relationship has been put through quite a bit of trials and tribulations that I feel like we are in a good place, excited about the future and further stabilizing our lives.
When we git married I had a good friend share the following article with me. It was hugely helpful and something I refer back to now and then. She has been married for about 2 years and felt like no one shared this info with her and she could have used it. I agree, I think its helpful, because as I said earlier life isn't always fairy tales and happy endings. So, I will leave you with this article as well....
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14909/10-things-nobody-tells-you-about-being-married.html
....And We're Back
Hi There! I apologize for my lengthy absence - it has been a long and very eventful Summer and Fall.
I had the privilege of working on a new Discovery Channel show, but unfortunately it was far from home and I was working about 18 hour days. So there was a big chunk of the Summer that was just gone due to that job. However, it was much needed income coming into our home.
Once the show wrapped, I spent the rest of the summer trying to catch up on some much needed and precious time with Gracie, and planning our wedding (more on that in a later post). My job is very hard on Gracie as its very much an "all or nothing" kind of job. As I had mentioned before, she hasn't had the easiest of lives so she tends to thrive when she has stability and struggles a little when she doesn't - and the guilt that goes along with that is immense. But the fact of the matter is I need to work in order to help keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, so we do the best we can.
Gracie also started First Grade in Mid-August and has happily been off and running in her class. This is the second year where we have REALLY lucked out with teachers at her school. She has been assigned a phenomenal teacher who has been at the school since it opened 25 years ago. We couldn't be happier with the incredible progress she has made in the few short months she has been back in school. I haven't been working again so I have been volunteering at school and loving every minute of it.
Life is moving so fast, but I wouldn't have it any other way!
I had the privilege of working on a new Discovery Channel show, but unfortunately it was far from home and I was working about 18 hour days. So there was a big chunk of the Summer that was just gone due to that job. However, it was much needed income coming into our home.
Once the show wrapped, I spent the rest of the summer trying to catch up on some much needed and precious time with Gracie, and planning our wedding (more on that in a later post). My job is very hard on Gracie as its very much an "all or nothing" kind of job. As I had mentioned before, she hasn't had the easiest of lives so she tends to thrive when she has stability and struggles a little when she doesn't - and the guilt that goes along with that is immense. But the fact of the matter is I need to work in order to help keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, so we do the best we can.
Gracie also started First Grade in Mid-August and has happily been off and running in her class. This is the second year where we have REALLY lucked out with teachers at her school. She has been assigned a phenomenal teacher who has been at the school since it opened 25 years ago. We couldn't be happier with the incredible progress she has made in the few short months she has been back in school. I haven't been working again so I have been volunteering at school and loving every minute of it.
Life is moving so fast, but I wouldn't have it any other way!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)