Taking the Leap

I've thought long and hard about writing about my unexpected, challenging and magnificent foray into Step-Motherhood for a while now.  But after a few family discussions, I've decided to take the big leap! I was hesitant to write about this as I am very concerned about protecting the privacy of both my fiance and soon-to-be step-daughter, so with that said, I have changed their names in this blog in order to protect their privacy. 

After CJ and I had been dating for a little bit, he announced that he would like for me to meet his daughter (whom BTW, is his EVERYTHING!) AND  when it was time for me to meet Gracie I was thrilled, honored, and scared to death.  All I knew about being a step-parent was what I basically saw in the movies and what I learned from a close family friend.  But I knew I loved CJ, and knew Gracie was meant to be in my life.  We moved in together over a year ago and even though my journey into parenthood hasn't always been easy - it has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

The biggest challenge for this control freak, is trying not to take over every. single. parenting. duty. and wanting to protect Gracie from the world.  I want to be the classroom teacher.  I want to do all the after school planning.  I want to do. it. all. and be super mom! However, always present in my mind is the very real fact that she has a biological mother whom she loves (and who loves her), and sees 50% of the time - so, I a always try very VERY hard to not replace her mother, but instead to be an addition to her life. I do my very best to respect this every day.  Believe me, its a very difficult balance to strike! We have spent our time growing together, learning each other, and giving each other happiness beyond each of our wildest dreams.  I could have never imagined this small child changing and filling my life with such joy - but she has and I will forever be grateful to CJ for bringing her into my life. 

Now, I don't mean for this post to sound like everything is sunshine and roses, because its not. Being a step-parent requires courage, bravery and a big ole helping of humility.  But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

While CJ and I aren't yet married, we are engaged and consider our marriage a technicality at this point (believe me I would love a wedding, but due to very difficult financial circumstances that you can read about on my other blog we can't have a wedding just yet).  Both CJ, Gracie and myself regard me as her step-mom and wouldn't have it any other way.

Oh and one more thing, the title of this blog is "Steph-Mom" because Gracie made this up and I think its genius and perfectly fitting for our relationship.