It's finally a done deal - We are married! Back in September CJ, Gracie and Myself became an "official" family! The day we got married was truly the best day of my / our lives. The day was magical and everything I could have ever wished for. Money is still very tight so it was a small event, but was so special and filled with love and support from some of the most special people in our lives.
We went back and forth as far as how small we wanted the wedding, how much we'd actually spend and should we just go to the court house? At the end of the day I'm a true believer in the saying "it's not about the wedding, but about the marriage", so we were torn - do we spend the money or not? On the other hand, I felt it was really important to let Gracie see us get married, see the ceremony and to feel part of the marriage. I think the ceremony helps children (in some cases) literally see us progress into being a "family", see the relationship become a marriage and in turn provide them with a sort of security. I also think it helps for me to have the official step-mom title, and even though our relationship was great before, I really do think the wedding / marriage has strengthened our bond. To be an official family, and to be Gracie's official step-mom really means everything to me. I find it hard to find the words describe the feeling. But it feels good.
It seems so silly, but being married has brought such a nice sense of security to our every day lives. While planning and stressing about the wedding my mother would say to me you have been living together for a while, will it really make that big of a difference to be married? And I would think to myself maybe? is she right? But in all honesty the answer is unequivocally yes. To me, it has made a difference. It doesn't "complete" me (which it shouldn't), but I don't know, things just seem to feel more secure. We feel more like a family. It means so much to me to have the same last name as CJ and Gracie. It means so much to me to say I'm Gracie's Step-Mom when I'm at school. I feel like our relationship is solid, to have a partner in life and to be growing old with someone is something I have dreamed about my whole life. I know marriage isn't for everyone - but so far I have to say I really enjoy being married (I'll let you know how I feel about this in a few years hahaha)
Of course, as with a lot of things in life, marriage has its ups and downs. But so far its been up for us. In the time we have been together we have been through SO much and our relationship has been put through quite a bit of trials and tribulations that I feel like we are in a good place, excited about the future and further stabilizing our lives.
When we git married I had a good friend share the following article with me. It was hugely helpful and something I refer back to now and then. She has been married for about 2 years and felt like no one shared this info with her and she could have used it. I agree, I think its helpful, because as I said earlier life isn't always fairy tales and happy endings. So, I will leave you with this article as well....
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14909/10-things-nobody-tells-you-about-being-married.html
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