Poor Gracie has been suffering with a bout of sickness for the past few weeks, and while she is normally a trooper, she has had this rash that has been really rough on her.
The other day, when I got the call to pick her up from school I rushed over there and the poor kids arms were swollen and covered in a horrible rash. Last week we were told she had strep and a rash to go with it, but clearly something else was going on. First we went to Starbucks for a little treat and then we went directly to the doctor. Of course being the crazy Steph-Mom I am we went into the doctors office and I insisted (nicely) they help out Gracie NOW. While waiting, and waiting, and waiting for the doctor we played games (mostly her favorite "I Spy"), read some books, cuddled a little and made up stories. They finally diagnosed her with Fifths Disease (which isn't a huge deal right now), got her some medicine, wrapped things up and got on our way.
While we were walking to the car I was holding Gracie's hand and she looked up at me and said "Stephanie, thank you for taking care of me. I really really love you. You make my heart shine." I mean come on - it doesn't get any better than that. I literally started to tear up. It was the sweetest and one of the best things that anyone has ever said to me. Ugh if she only knew how much she makes my heart burst with shine!
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Saturday, November 8, 2014
The 8 Kinds of Steph-Mom I Want to be....
Nightly when I finally take a moment to sit down and peruse my news feed, I find I'm bombarded with all kinds of articles like...."6 Things I need my daughter to know", "What makes a successful mother", "15 things dads of daughters MUST do", "The Golden Rules of Step-parenting", etc. There are articles about "types" of children, "type" of parents, and sadly, criticizing those "types" of parents and kids. The information can so often be overwhelming, and makes me feel like I always have to keep up. Now, I'm not naive; I'm acutely aware of the fact that I'm a Step-Mom and not a full blown mom but I do see myself as a parent and take my role seriously. Lets be honest though, there are so many options for Step-Parents and in
many ways it's an unconventional role that all of us need to navigate
in a different way than the biological parents. But at the same time,
aren't we all (step-parent or otherwise), just trying to figure it out?
Tonight, while scrolling through the onslaught of tiring articles it got me to thinking... there really are no articles about what kind of parent do you want to be? And even more so, what kind of parent do I want to be? There is SO much information about raising the "perfect" children, but what about raising ourselves? How do I want Gracie to see me? Essentially, what do I want to be for her? So, I really thought about it and came up with the following list of who I want to be. Surely no one is perfect, and I am aware that I am far from it - but if I can make an effort to at least hit a few of these things on a daily or weekly basis I think I might be on a good track.
1. Most importantly I want to be present. Both literally and figuratively. I want to be here for Gracie, and for her to know that I am. I want to be an ever present force in her life. I spend a good deal of time at school volunteering and having lunch with her - even on days she is with her mom. this has proven to be huge for her. I can't pretend that I know exactly the effects of this, but what I do know is that she smiles from ear to ear and becomes VERY excited when I am at school. I want to be interactive with her. I spend time planning play dates, science club and am researching Girl Scout (and maybe being a GS leader - YIKES). I just want to be as big of a part of her life as I can so she knows she can count on me. As I've mentioned before, I have had trouble looking for work, but when I look back I really see it as a blessing in disguise. There have been bursts of times where I have freelanced for work, but during these bursts I would leave when Gracie was asleep and wouldn't get home until way after she was asleep. The most recent freelance job I had was during her summer vacation, so she would try to stay up late with all of her might to see me. But midnight, 1:00am, etc was just too much for a 5 year old. It broke both of our hearts just a little. What that has taught me is - I want to be present with her. I need to work on putting the computer, phone and ipad down when we are together and work on being present with each other.
2. I want her to be proud of me. One day, I want Gracie to look at me and say "That's My Step-Mom". And I think trying to do all of the things on this list will hopefully make this true one day.
3. I want to be a good role model / example. I believe that the best way to be a good role model is to lead by example. As I mentioned earlier, I am fully aware that I'm not perfect and I surely make my fair share of mistakes; But if I can be more conscious about being a good example hopefully the good will outweigh the bad. I want to show her how and why being generous and kind to others is so important, I want her to see how to care/ nurture for other people, I want her to value the things in her life - and not just expect them, I want her to see me be a good friend and see why having girlfriends and good friends is so vital in life, I want her to value family, and see why following your dreams and being true to yourself is so important.
4. I want to be Fun. This may seem like a given, but anyone who knows me, knows that I naturally can tend to be serious and at times, tend to take myself too seriously. I want to dance with her more, enjoy small moments, do fun activities, try new adventures, etc. with her. I want to laugh with Gracie more, I want to show her not to "sweat the small stuff" and most importantly teach her to laugh at herself. Because let's face it, when we can laugh at ourselves life is not only easier for us, but certainly also makes us easier to be around. Furthermore, a good sense of humor is key to obtaining a healthy and happy life (at least that is what I think) and I'd rather laugh than cry any day.
5. I want to be a parent first, and friend close second. Ugh this is the one that REALLY pains me to write. Because, well, my mom would always say this to me and it would annoy me SO much. Ugh. But she is so right (dam it!). It is my job to guide, teach and care for her and sometimes be a "mean" mom - one day I know she will thank me (ugh dam it, I'm sounding like my mom again).
6. I want to provide a safe, cozy and loving home that is a safe haven. I want to provide a home that is filled with love and is loving. I want our home to be a place where Gracie feels the safest - a place where she says I can't wait to go home! I also want our home to be a place where we show her what love really means and provide a good solid example of a successful relationship (no pressure! ha).
7. Guide without criticizing. I think we alllll know what I'm talking about here.
8. I want to be confident and less self deprecating. Somewhere along the way, most women (myself included) find it easier to be self deprecating than to be confident about themselves. This includes who we are on the inside and out. There are so many times when I catch myself in a conversation with Gracie. She'll say Stephanie you look so pretty and I'll say, Oh thanks but my hair is a mess or I wish this fit better. Without missing a best she'll reply with No you don't, DON'T say that! And she is right! How am I supposed to expect her to be confident but not be confident myself. I want her to see my drive and confidence to go back to school. I want her to see (through me) that we can do anything we want to do if we just put our minds to it. I really need to work on this one - but I'm really hoping to get there because I think this really is vital to her success and happiness.
I know this list is ambitious and my goals are lofty. However I think if we don't focus on who we want to be for our kids, we can easily get overwhelmed and swayed in all different kinds of directions. So many Step-Parent articles talk about taking a "backseat" and just being a "support system" for the family. Unfortunately, I'm not a sit back and observe kind of girl and if I have a chance to be a force in her life - I'm going to. I love Gracie with all my heart and I really want to be the best me for her! Obviously what is right for me, probably won't be right for you, but what I believe to be true is that if there is love - we can all produce happy, healthy and confident kids who value relationships, themselves, and others (and hopefully one day, their parents).
Tonight, while scrolling through the onslaught of tiring articles it got me to thinking... there really are no articles about what kind of parent do you want to be? And even more so, what kind of parent do I want to be? There is SO much information about raising the "perfect" children, but what about raising ourselves? How do I want Gracie to see me? Essentially, what do I want to be for her? So, I really thought about it and came up with the following list of who I want to be. Surely no one is perfect, and I am aware that I am far from it - but if I can make an effort to at least hit a few of these things on a daily or weekly basis I think I might be on a good track.
1. Most importantly I want to be present. Both literally and figuratively. I want to be here for Gracie, and for her to know that I am. I want to be an ever present force in her life. I spend a good deal of time at school volunteering and having lunch with her - even on days she is with her mom. this has proven to be huge for her. I can't pretend that I know exactly the effects of this, but what I do know is that she smiles from ear to ear and becomes VERY excited when I am at school. I want to be interactive with her. I spend time planning play dates, science club and am researching Girl Scout (and maybe being a GS leader - YIKES). I just want to be as big of a part of her life as I can so she knows she can count on me. As I've mentioned before, I have had trouble looking for work, but when I look back I really see it as a blessing in disguise. There have been bursts of times where I have freelanced for work, but during these bursts I would leave when Gracie was asleep and wouldn't get home until way after she was asleep. The most recent freelance job I had was during her summer vacation, so she would try to stay up late with all of her might to see me. But midnight, 1:00am, etc was just too much for a 5 year old. It broke both of our hearts just a little. What that has taught me is - I want to be present with her. I need to work on putting the computer, phone and ipad down when we are together and work on being present with each other.
2. I want her to be proud of me. One day, I want Gracie to look at me and say "That's My Step-Mom". And I think trying to do all of the things on this list will hopefully make this true one day.
3. I want to be a good role model / example. I believe that the best way to be a good role model is to lead by example. As I mentioned earlier, I am fully aware that I'm not perfect and I surely make my fair share of mistakes; But if I can be more conscious about being a good example hopefully the good will outweigh the bad. I want to show her how and why being generous and kind to others is so important, I want her to see how to care/ nurture for other people, I want her to value the things in her life - and not just expect them, I want her to see me be a good friend and see why having girlfriends and good friends is so vital in life, I want her to value family, and see why following your dreams and being true to yourself is so important.
4. I want to be Fun. This may seem like a given, but anyone who knows me, knows that I naturally can tend to be serious and at times, tend to take myself too seriously. I want to dance with her more, enjoy small moments, do fun activities, try new adventures, etc. with her. I want to laugh with Gracie more, I want to show her not to "sweat the small stuff" and most importantly teach her to laugh at herself. Because let's face it, when we can laugh at ourselves life is not only easier for us, but certainly also makes us easier to be around. Furthermore, a good sense of humor is key to obtaining a healthy and happy life (at least that is what I think) and I'd rather laugh than cry any day.
5. I want to be a parent first, and friend close second. Ugh this is the one that REALLY pains me to write. Because, well, my mom would always say this to me and it would annoy me SO much. Ugh. But she is so right (dam it!). It is my job to guide, teach and care for her and sometimes be a "mean" mom - one day I know she will thank me (ugh dam it, I'm sounding like my mom again).
6. I want to provide a safe, cozy and loving home that is a safe haven. I want to provide a home that is filled with love and is loving. I want our home to be a place where Gracie feels the safest - a place where she says I can't wait to go home! I also want our home to be a place where we show her what love really means and provide a good solid example of a successful relationship (no pressure! ha).
7. Guide without criticizing. I think we alllll know what I'm talking about here.
8. I want to be confident and less self deprecating. Somewhere along the way, most women (myself included) find it easier to be self deprecating than to be confident about themselves. This includes who we are on the inside and out. There are so many times when I catch myself in a conversation with Gracie. She'll say Stephanie you look so pretty and I'll say, Oh thanks but my hair is a mess or I wish this fit better. Without missing a best she'll reply with No you don't, DON'T say that! And she is right! How am I supposed to expect her to be confident but not be confident myself. I want her to see my drive and confidence to go back to school. I want her to see (through me) that we can do anything we want to do if we just put our minds to it. I really need to work on this one - but I'm really hoping to get there because I think this really is vital to her success and happiness.
I know this list is ambitious and my goals are lofty. However I think if we don't focus on who we want to be for our kids, we can easily get overwhelmed and swayed in all different kinds of directions. So many Step-Parent articles talk about taking a "backseat" and just being a "support system" for the family. Unfortunately, I'm not a sit back and observe kind of girl and if I have a chance to be a force in her life - I'm going to. I love Gracie with all my heart and I really want to be the best me for her! Obviously what is right for me, probably won't be right for you, but what I believe to be true is that if there is love - we can all produce happy, healthy and confident kids who value relationships, themselves, and others (and hopefully one day, their parents).
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Our Mad Scientist
Gracie has become a budding little scientist and really seems to like everything "science". Whenever anyone asks her the age old question of what do you want to be when you grow up? she says (with great enthusiasm) A SCIENTIST. Which, I have to say I love! Chances are she probably won't grow up to be a scientist, but I am surely going to foster her love for science while she is so into it - I mean there are way worse things in my opinion that she could love (like Monster High, Miley Cyrus, Sexy Halloween Costumes, etc, but I digress). So, when a flyer came home for the new "Mad Scientist" club at school, we were so excited because it was a perfect after school activity for her to do - and to learn more about school. Except we hit a SNAFU that I can't really get into, but it was beyond my control and unfortunately she can't participate in the science club. (ugh). She was seriously so disappointed when we told her she couldn't do the club, and while I am no scientist (lets be honest Science is not my "thing") and it would be more fun to learn from the "experts" I was not going to let her go without.
So...DUM DUH DAH DAH!.... The Steph-Mom created our very own at-home-very-exclusive Science Club! Gracie was SUPER excited!! Since I am not much of an inventive or knowledgeable scientist I had to spend some serious time with my close friend, Google. But it didn't let me down and I found tons and tons of at-home science experiments. Thank You Internet!
It is my goal to do super fun and interactive experiments to help encourage her love of science. So the first experiment we did was Elephant Toothpaste. At first, we miserably failed this experiment as nothing really happened when we mixed the ingredients together. We were both so disappointment. So with nothing to lose, i decided to play with the ingredients a little bit and low and behold it worked! As Gracie squealed with delight, the Elephant Toothpaste exploded out of the bottle and into our pan. We did this a few times and then she played in the foam that wound up in our cake pan. She was so excited, she couldn't wait until her Dad got home so she could show him her "big" experiment. I used this opportunity to talk about the science of mixing ingredients, etc. and while her Dad is more eloquent in this subject matter she really seemed to learn something. Which was my point and hope.
Gracie loved our little club and she felt special that we were doing something science related together. I still think the Mad Scientist club at school would have been better for her, but I will do my best to make up for it at home weekly. Here are some photos of our BIG experiment.
So...DUM DUH DAH DAH!.... The Steph-Mom created our very own at-home-very-exclusive Science Club! Gracie was SUPER excited!! Since I am not much of an inventive or knowledgeable scientist I had to spend some serious time with my close friend, Google. But it didn't let me down and I found tons and tons of at-home science experiments. Thank You Internet!
It is my goal to do super fun and interactive experiments to help encourage her love of science. So the first experiment we did was Elephant Toothpaste. At first, we miserably failed this experiment as nothing really happened when we mixed the ingredients together. We were both so disappointment. So with nothing to lose, i decided to play with the ingredients a little bit and low and behold it worked! As Gracie squealed with delight, the Elephant Toothpaste exploded out of the bottle and into our pan. We did this a few times and then she played in the foam that wound up in our cake pan. She was so excited, she couldn't wait until her Dad got home so she could show him her "big" experiment. I used this opportunity to talk about the science of mixing ingredients, etc. and while her Dad is more eloquent in this subject matter she really seemed to learn something. Which was my point and hope.
Gracie loved our little club and she felt special that we were doing something science related together. I still think the Mad Scientist club at school would have been better for her, but I will do my best to make up for it at home weekly. Here are some photos of our BIG experiment.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Handmade Halloween....And a Heaping Handful of Hardwork
Well another "holiday" is upon us, and almost behind us, so its only natural that I got swept away by all the fun and excitement and wound up overdoing it....again. I think I might have a problem. Do I regret it? Absolutely not! Am I exhausted and still recovering? 1000000%
We definitely wouldn't have been able to pull this party off without the help of both CJ's and my mom. They both really got into the spirit of things, did a GREAT job interacting with the kids and my mom even broke out her scary witch costume that all of the kids LOVED! I am certain that one day Abbie will look back on this party and not only remember how much fun we had preparing and partying, but also how great her Oma (CJ's mom) and Grandma Lily (my mom) were that day - its one of those memories that I think will take her through a lifetime. I vividly remember my Grandmother at pretty much all of my parties and events as a kid, and now as an adult having those memories of her are absolutely priceless to me! I am so so happy that Gracie is making those same kind of memories! Here's Grandma Lily and Oma in all their glory:
.jpg)
Halloween and celebrations started earlier than normal for us this year, which was totally fine with me. We went to the store and picked out the perfect Elsa costume (of course) for Gracie. But then we realized, ugh, we don't have her for Halloween. What are we going to do with this costume now and how are we going to have some Halloween fun of our own. I quickly got to the computer and started Googling. Of course all the local Halloween festivals, etc. are on a weekend we also don't have Gracie. Ugh. But never fear! The Steph-Mom is here! We had decided we will have a Halloween party with Gracie's classmates.
At first we thought we'd just have a pumpkin decorating party. But, naturally, I quickly got carried away and started planning like a crazy person. Because we couldn't have just a normal pumpkin party. We had to have something that hopefully all the kids (and most importantly Gracie) would remember. I have to say, CJ though did have the best idea for reigning me in a little bit - he suggested having the party at the local park instead of our home. And I have to say, this truly was the best idea of the whole shin dig! For Real!
So, I quickly hit Pinterest. I started pinning, and planning, and pinning, and planning, and pinning and planning. I finally narrowed down my lists of games and treats, but by the time I had a plan in place we only had 2 weeks until the party. sure, no problem. ha!
Before I get into all of my Pinterest projects that I was successful with, I will say that I also had A LOT of major fails with this stuff too. I mean major and at one point I wasn't sure if I'd even be able to pull this party off.
Of course I had to start with the most perfect party invitations. This should have been an easy task, but the options of Pinterest can sometimes be overwhelming and finding 'just the right one' took me longer than I'd like to care to admit. But we finally wound up with the following from Lia Griffith at Handcraft Your Life (click on image to get to her incredible website / blog). I wound up choosing her invitation because it was cute and SUPER easy to customize and print on my computer. She also has a ton of other cute printables that I printed - but didn't wind up using because, well frankly I ran out of time.
Next were the envelopes. Unfortunately the above invitations didn't come with a 'do-it-yourself' envelope (probably because most of the people who use her site aren't as cheap as me and will just buy envelopes). So, I had to search out a way to make my own envelopes. So luckily enough I found a template here.
Next up it was time for the menu. I decided on Frankenstein Rice Krispie Treats (i put my own spin on them though), Pumpkin Rice Krispie Treats (except I made mine with Gluten :) ), eye ball pretzels (my own creation, so sorry no "how to" link), tangerine pumpkins, banana ghosts, marshmallow pops, witch hats, monster munch, monster mouths and witches brew with gummy worm ice and a frozen red hand (by filling up a disposable glove with water and red food coloring and freezing it). I'll be honest I tried a few other things but they were such big fails that I didn't even take photos of them, but you can use your imagination :) Here are some photos of our food spread:
Then it was time for the games! This is where I dug into my 'old school' archives and came up with some simple stuff we did as kids, found the cheapest crafts and come up with everything I could. I have to say The Dollar Tree was my savior for this party. I got all of our serving trays, decorations, etc super cheap there and they really made this party possible. Additionally, they had games for, well, $1 when Target had the SAME EXACT games for $5 or $7.50 (ish). The kids really LOVED everything we played and seemed to really enjoy being entertained. We started the day off with toilet paper mummies, then did a doughnut on a string eating game, followed by mask painting, monster making, Pinata busting and finally ended with a competitive game of Halloween Bingo.
All in all I have to say it was an awesome day, with great friends and we made some lifelong memories. We didn't spend much money at all, but it will be a fun day we will remember for a long time to come....which of course is always my goal with my Gracie. She is amazing and special and deserves to have happy memories just as much as the next kid! .... but I'd be lying if I said if I wasn't over Halloween at this point :)
We definitely wouldn't have been able to pull this party off without the help of both CJ's and my mom. They both really got into the spirit of things, did a GREAT job interacting with the kids and my mom even broke out her scary witch costume that all of the kids LOVED! I am certain that one day Abbie will look back on this party and not only remember how much fun we had preparing and partying, but also how great her Oma (CJ's mom) and Grandma Lily (my mom) were that day - its one of those memories that I think will take her through a lifetime. I vividly remember my Grandmother at pretty much all of my parties and events as a kid, and now as an adult having those memories of her are absolutely priceless to me! I am so so happy that Gracie is making those same kind of memories! Here's Grandma Lily and Oma in all their glory:
Halloween and celebrations started earlier than normal for us this year, which was totally fine with me. We went to the store and picked out the perfect Elsa costume (of course) for Gracie. But then we realized, ugh, we don't have her for Halloween. What are we going to do with this costume now and how are we going to have some Halloween fun of our own. I quickly got to the computer and started Googling. Of course all the local Halloween festivals, etc. are on a weekend we also don't have Gracie. Ugh. But never fear! The Steph-Mom is here! We had decided we will have a Halloween party with Gracie's classmates.
At first we thought we'd just have a pumpkin decorating party. But, naturally, I quickly got carried away and started planning like a crazy person. Because we couldn't have just a normal pumpkin party. We had to have something that hopefully all the kids (and most importantly Gracie) would remember. I have to say, CJ though did have the best idea for reigning me in a little bit - he suggested having the party at the local park instead of our home. And I have to say, this truly was the best idea of the whole shin dig! For Real!
So, I quickly hit Pinterest. I started pinning, and planning, and pinning, and planning, and pinning and planning. I finally narrowed down my lists of games and treats, but by the time I had a plan in place we only had 2 weeks until the party. sure, no problem. ha!
Before I get into all of my Pinterest projects that I was successful with, I will say that I also had A LOT of major fails with this stuff too. I mean major and at one point I wasn't sure if I'd even be able to pull this party off.
Of course I had to start with the most perfect party invitations. This should have been an easy task, but the options of Pinterest can sometimes be overwhelming and finding 'just the right one' took me longer than I'd like to care to admit. But we finally wound up with the following from Lia Griffith at Handcraft Your Life (click on image to get to her incredible website / blog). I wound up choosing her invitation because it was cute and SUPER easy to customize and print on my computer. She also has a ton of other cute printables that I printed - but didn't wind up using because, well frankly I ran out of time.
Next were the envelopes. Unfortunately the above invitations didn't come with a 'do-it-yourself' envelope (probably because most of the people who use her site aren't as cheap as me and will just buy envelopes). So, I had to search out a way to make my own envelopes. So luckily enough I found a template here.
Then it was time for the games! This is where I dug into my 'old school' archives and came up with some simple stuff we did as kids, found the cheapest crafts and come up with everything I could. I have to say The Dollar Tree was my savior for this party. I got all of our serving trays, decorations, etc super cheap there and they really made this party possible. Additionally, they had games for, well, $1 when Target had the SAME EXACT games for $5 or $7.50 (ish). The kids really LOVED everything we played and seemed to really enjoy being entertained. We started the day off with toilet paper mummies, then did a doughnut on a string eating game, followed by mask painting, monster making, Pinata busting and finally ended with a competitive game of Halloween Bingo.
All in all I have to say it was an awesome day, with great friends and we made some lifelong memories. We didn't spend much money at all, but it will be a fun day we will remember for a long time to come....which of course is always my goal with my Gracie. She is amazing and special and deserves to have happy memories just as much as the next kid! .... but I'd be lying if I said if I wasn't over Halloween at this point :)
Monday, October 20, 2014
To Teach or Not To Teach (and an uncertain foray into Crowdfunding)
Let me start by saying, yes, I have been adequately warned about becoming a teacher. In fact, every person who I speak to about potentially getting certified to teach discourages me with all their might. I mean every. single. person.
However, ever since CJ and I have met, I have been in a transition over my job and struggling to find work. Even though I have been home a lot and dream of being a Stay-At-Home Mom, I really do need to work in order for our family to obtain some more security. However, any kind of decent work, with benefits is really hard to come by here in this part of FL - especially for a TV Producer.
So I've been think, think, thinking. It might really be time for a career change. But what should I do? I've narrowed down my search to Social Work, Nursing and most of all Teaching. Ever since I was a little girl I had always seen myself teaching. I have been volunteering a lot at Gracie's school and I absolutely love it. I love elementary education and everything about it. So I started to research what exactly I'd need to do in order to become certified in the State of Florida. I was pleasantly surprised to see that since I already have a Bachelors degree I can just get certified through several routes for not very much money (relatively speaking).
As far as the naysayers go, I hear you. But let me ask this? If every person who wants to teach and make a difference in the lives the next generation is discouraged, who will be teaching our kids in 10 years? That thought just makes me so sad.
I think for me, and for our family, teaching is a great option. It not only provides a stable income, but also provides benefits and retirement. All things that we basically don't have now (for so many reasons). Additionally the hours are good for us and it would be great for Gracie if I could have the summers off with her (and any other children that might come along).
In any event, this is something that I am REALLY considering but am struggling to find the finances to start pursuing the certification. So I thought I'd give crowdfunding a chance and see what happens. I feel so funny, so silly and sooooo weird crowdfunding, but I thought hey, so many other people have done it and I really need to kick this redirection into high gear - so why not? Here's the link to check it out:
http://www.gofundme.com/Sbearkland
However, ever since CJ and I have met, I have been in a transition over my job and struggling to find work. Even though I have been home a lot and dream of being a Stay-At-Home Mom, I really do need to work in order for our family to obtain some more security. However, any kind of decent work, with benefits is really hard to come by here in this part of FL - especially for a TV Producer.
So I've been think, think, thinking. It might really be time for a career change. But what should I do? I've narrowed down my search to Social Work, Nursing and most of all Teaching. Ever since I was a little girl I had always seen myself teaching. I have been volunteering a lot at Gracie's school and I absolutely love it. I love elementary education and everything about it. So I started to research what exactly I'd need to do in order to become certified in the State of Florida. I was pleasantly surprised to see that since I already have a Bachelors degree I can just get certified through several routes for not very much money (relatively speaking).
As far as the naysayers go, I hear you. But let me ask this? If every person who wants to teach and make a difference in the lives the next generation is discouraged, who will be teaching our kids in 10 years? That thought just makes me so sad.
I think for me, and for our family, teaching is a great option. It not only provides a stable income, but also provides benefits and retirement. All things that we basically don't have now (for so many reasons). Additionally the hours are good for us and it would be great for Gracie if I could have the summers off with her (and any other children that might come along).
In any event, this is something that I am REALLY considering but am struggling to find the finances to start pursuing the certification. So I thought I'd give crowdfunding a chance and see what happens. I feel so funny, so silly and sooooo weird crowdfunding, but I thought hey, so many other people have done it and I really need to kick this redirection into high gear - so why not? Here's the link to check it out:
http://www.gofundme.com/Sbearkland
Sunday, October 19, 2014
We are an official family!
It's finally a done deal - We are married! Back in September CJ, Gracie and Myself became an "official" family! The day we got married was truly the best day of my / our lives. The day was magical and everything I could have ever wished for. Money is still very tight so it was a small event, but was so special and filled with love and support from some of the most special people in our lives.
We went back and forth as far as how small we wanted the wedding, how much we'd actually spend and should we just go to the court house? At the end of the day I'm a true believer in the saying "it's not about the wedding, but about the marriage", so we were torn - do we spend the money or not? On the other hand, I felt it was really important to let Gracie see us get married, see the ceremony and to feel part of the marriage. I think the ceremony helps children (in some cases) literally see us progress into being a "family", see the relationship become a marriage and in turn provide them with a sort of security. I also think it helps for me to have the official step-mom title, and even though our relationship was great before, I really do think the wedding / marriage has strengthened our bond. To be an official family, and to be Gracie's official step-mom really means everything to me. I find it hard to find the words describe the feeling. But it feels good.
It seems so silly, but being married has brought such a nice sense of security to our every day lives. While planning and stressing about the wedding my mother would say to me you have been living together for a while, will it really make that big of a difference to be married? And I would think to myself maybe? is she right? But in all honesty the answer is unequivocally yes. To me, it has made a difference. It doesn't "complete" me (which it shouldn't), but I don't know, things just seem to feel more secure. We feel more like a family. It means so much to me to have the same last name as CJ and Gracie. It means so much to me to say I'm Gracie's Step-Mom when I'm at school. I feel like our relationship is solid, to have a partner in life and to be growing old with someone is something I have dreamed about my whole life. I know marriage isn't for everyone - but so far I have to say I really enjoy being married (I'll let you know how I feel about this in a few years hahaha)
Of course, as with a lot of things in life, marriage has its ups and downs. But so far its been up for us. In the time we have been together we have been through SO much and our relationship has been put through quite a bit of trials and tribulations that I feel like we are in a good place, excited about the future and further stabilizing our lives.
When we git married I had a good friend share the following article with me. It was hugely helpful and something I refer back to now and then. She has been married for about 2 years and felt like no one shared this info with her and she could have used it. I agree, I think its helpful, because as I said earlier life isn't always fairy tales and happy endings. So, I will leave you with this article as well....
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14909/10-things-nobody-tells-you-about-being-married.html
....And We're Back
Hi There! I apologize for my lengthy absence - it has been a long and very eventful Summer and Fall.
I had the privilege of working on a new Discovery Channel show, but unfortunately it was far from home and I was working about 18 hour days. So there was a big chunk of the Summer that was just gone due to that job. However, it was much needed income coming into our home.
Once the show wrapped, I spent the rest of the summer trying to catch up on some much needed and precious time with Gracie, and planning our wedding (more on that in a later post). My job is very hard on Gracie as its very much an "all or nothing" kind of job. As I had mentioned before, she hasn't had the easiest of lives so she tends to thrive when she has stability and struggles a little when she doesn't - and the guilt that goes along with that is immense. But the fact of the matter is I need to work in order to help keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, so we do the best we can.
Gracie also started First Grade in Mid-August and has happily been off and running in her class. This is the second year where we have REALLY lucked out with teachers at her school. She has been assigned a phenomenal teacher who has been at the school since it opened 25 years ago. We couldn't be happier with the incredible progress she has made in the few short months she has been back in school. I haven't been working again so I have been volunteering at school and loving every minute of it.
Life is moving so fast, but I wouldn't have it any other way!
I had the privilege of working on a new Discovery Channel show, but unfortunately it was far from home and I was working about 18 hour days. So there was a big chunk of the Summer that was just gone due to that job. However, it was much needed income coming into our home.
Once the show wrapped, I spent the rest of the summer trying to catch up on some much needed and precious time with Gracie, and planning our wedding (more on that in a later post). My job is very hard on Gracie as its very much an "all or nothing" kind of job. As I had mentioned before, she hasn't had the easiest of lives so she tends to thrive when she has stability and struggles a little when she doesn't - and the guilt that goes along with that is immense. But the fact of the matter is I need to work in order to help keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, so we do the best we can.
Gracie also started First Grade in Mid-August and has happily been off and running in her class. This is the second year where we have REALLY lucked out with teachers at her school. She has been assigned a phenomenal teacher who has been at the school since it opened 25 years ago. We couldn't be happier with the incredible progress she has made in the few short months she has been back in school. I haven't been working again so I have been volunteering at school and loving every minute of it.
Life is moving so fast, but I wouldn't have it any other way!
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
When did Playdates become this?!
I spent several days (maybe even weeks) arranging for Abbie to have a play date with one of her besties from school. Finally after much back and forth - when are the girls available, when is Gracie with us, when is her friend available - we had a date. I mean, OY!
Given my Pinterest addiction, I had decided this was going to be the best play date ever. Only problem is the 120 hours, 6 days a week I had been working. There literally aren't enough hours in the day to be the "Super Steph-Mom" that I really want to be. But dam it, I tried any way. The girls played in the sprinklers, threw water balloons (to the point where our fingers were sore from making them), played in the little pool, played on the swing sets, played inside, played chase Stephanie and Daddy with the water, I made crafts with them, and decided I would make snake bubbles. In case you aren't familiar with the snake bubble, I got my idea from TwoDaloo.
While the snake bubbles were fun, I thought I'm going to kick this up a notch just like they do on Pinterest. The "kicking it up a notch" involved putting food coloring on the sock and then blowing the bubbles. This turned into an epic mess. Even though we did the bubbles outside there was food coloring everywhere - mostly the kids! The little girl who was visiting was such a pleasure to have, had great manners and was easy to have, except when I showed them how to add it to their sock bubbles she freaked out that the food coloring was "all over her hands" - but in actuality it was just a little bit. Gracie on the other hand was COVERED. She put so much food coloring on her sock it ran back into the bottle and wound up on her lips, hands and somehow her entire feet! I then threw the girls back in the pool and thankfully after playing for a while it was gone. Phew. We then proceeded to make princess rings and crowns and 4.5 hours later it was time to call it day.
After we cleaned up the mess of the day, I sat back, put my feet up and relaxed for the first time in three weeks. As I sat there trying not to fall asleep I started to think, what ever happened to the days where kids just played. I remember playing outside with little supervision, knocking on friends doors asking if they could come out to play and where we kept ourselves busy for hours and came in when my mom yelled for us. Of course there were plenty of times where we made plans and did lots of fun things, but plenty of other times where we just were kids being kids and no crazy parents supervising every activity. I did my best (and CJ did much better than me) just to let the girls play at times, but the effort it took to get them together was HUGE and I felt so much pressure to make it "fun"! Why? How did we end up here? Why do I feel the pressure to have the "best" playdates? Why do I always feel like I am competing? I'm not really sure....I think its because I want Gracie to have friends, to have a fun and balanced and somewhat carefree life.
What I do know is, I miss the days of kids jumping on their bikes, riding around the neighborhood and being safe. After the sheer exhaustion of the day, I realized the next play date is going to involve a lot less pressure on myself.
Given my Pinterest addiction, I had decided this was going to be the best play date ever. Only problem is the 120 hours, 6 days a week I had been working. There literally aren't enough hours in the day to be the "Super Steph-Mom" that I really want to be. But dam it, I tried any way. The girls played in the sprinklers, threw water balloons (to the point where our fingers were sore from making them), played in the little pool, played on the swing sets, played inside, played chase Stephanie and Daddy with the water, I made crafts with them, and decided I would make snake bubbles. In case you aren't familiar with the snake bubble, I got my idea from TwoDaloo.
While the snake bubbles were fun, I thought I'm going to kick this up a notch just like they do on Pinterest. The "kicking it up a notch" involved putting food coloring on the sock and then blowing the bubbles. This turned into an epic mess. Even though we did the bubbles outside there was food coloring everywhere - mostly the kids! The little girl who was visiting was such a pleasure to have, had great manners and was easy to have, except when I showed them how to add it to their sock bubbles she freaked out that the food coloring was "all over her hands" - but in actuality it was just a little bit. Gracie on the other hand was COVERED. She put so much food coloring on her sock it ran back into the bottle and wound up on her lips, hands and somehow her entire feet! I then threw the girls back in the pool and thankfully after playing for a while it was gone. Phew. We then proceeded to make princess rings and crowns and 4.5 hours later it was time to call it day.
After we cleaned up the mess of the day, I sat back, put my feet up and relaxed for the first time in three weeks. As I sat there trying not to fall asleep I started to think, what ever happened to the days where kids just played. I remember playing outside with little supervision, knocking on friends doors asking if they could come out to play and where we kept ourselves busy for hours and came in when my mom yelled for us. Of course there were plenty of times where we made plans and did lots of fun things, but plenty of other times where we just were kids being kids and no crazy parents supervising every activity. I did my best (and CJ did much better than me) just to let the girls play at times, but the effort it took to get them together was HUGE and I felt so much pressure to make it "fun"! Why? How did we end up here? Why do I feel the pressure to have the "best" playdates? Why do I always feel like I am competing? I'm not really sure....I think its because I want Gracie to have friends, to have a fun and balanced and somewhat carefree life.
What I do know is, I miss the days of kids jumping on their bikes, riding around the neighborhood and being safe. After the sheer exhaustion of the day, I realized the next play date is going to involve a lot less pressure on myself.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
That Tricky Thing Called Work / Life Balance
I have quickly discovered that I'm terrible at that thing Work/Life/ Family balance. I recently took on a freelance job, which is great for our family budget, but not so great for my sanity. As many of you know I work in television and the TV industry isn't really known for great hours. I started the new job full time last week and by full time I mean, working about 110 hours in 7 days (no exaggeration, I just checked the math). To be fair, there is quite a commute involved as well and I factored that into this. When I was single this was no big deal to me and I could easily do it. Maybe that's why I was single during the majority of the height of my career. haha.
This past week we only had Gracie for two days as it was our "off" week. So seeing her was quite a challenge and somewhat heartbreaking - which is probably dramatic, but nonetheless how I feel. On Wednesday night I didn't get home until after 10:30pm and Gracie had fallen asleep. CJ told me she tried with all her might to stay up to see me when I got home :(. I crashed and went right to bed as I had to get up early again. Because she fell asleep so late, when I went to leave the house at 7am she was still sleeping. I went into her room to wake her up, give her a kiss and remind her how much I loved her and wish her a good day. However, she wasn't having any of the waking up part. When Gracie is asleep she is ASLEEP! She sleeps like a rock and didn't want to get up. This broke. my. heart. I knew I was going to have another very long day and she was leaving the next morning to go to her moms. But I had to go. I couldn't be late.
As I left I the house I started to cry. I missed my little Gracie, her fabulous morning hugs, the sound of her giggles as her and her daddy joke around in the morning and of course, her dragon breath (haha). CJ reminded me that this is only short term, its only a few weeks and I'm doing what I love. But it still hurt. So on my drive to work and once she woke up Gracie called me to say "Hi and I love you". While it was a short call it so made my day to hear her little 'wake up' voice.
She left the next morning to see her mom and luckily she was up Friday morning to say goodbye and I got my hugs. While we always miss Gracie while she is gone, I miss her more than usual because it feels like I've seen her for a hot second over the course of the week.
I know this is all temporary, but I worry about her. As I mentioned before she has been through a lot and I try so hard to give her stability. She is a strong little girl and I know I'm probably making a mountain out of a mole hill, but I worry that her stability has been rocked a little and that she is disappointed that some of our summer plans aren't panning out.
But while I was driving in and missing our time together I was thinking about what this is teaching her. I hope that this is teaching her that in our family we work hard, we support each other, that girls can do whatever they aspire to do (she is always asking us things like "can a girl be a scientist") and most importantly we follow our dreams. Gracie knows how working in TV is what I love to do, so I hope she sees that no matter what we can follow our dreams and how its possible with a supportive family.
This past week we only had Gracie for two days as it was our "off" week. So seeing her was quite a challenge and somewhat heartbreaking - which is probably dramatic, but nonetheless how I feel. On Wednesday night I didn't get home until after 10:30pm and Gracie had fallen asleep. CJ told me she tried with all her might to stay up to see me when I got home :(. I crashed and went right to bed as I had to get up early again. Because she fell asleep so late, when I went to leave the house at 7am she was still sleeping. I went into her room to wake her up, give her a kiss and remind her how much I loved her and wish her a good day. However, she wasn't having any of the waking up part. When Gracie is asleep she is ASLEEP! She sleeps like a rock and didn't want to get up. This broke. my. heart. I knew I was going to have another very long day and she was leaving the next morning to go to her moms. But I had to go. I couldn't be late.
As I left I the house I started to cry. I missed my little Gracie, her fabulous morning hugs, the sound of her giggles as her and her daddy joke around in the morning and of course, her dragon breath (haha). CJ reminded me that this is only short term, its only a few weeks and I'm doing what I love. But it still hurt. So on my drive to work and once she woke up Gracie called me to say "Hi and I love you". While it was a short call it so made my day to hear her little 'wake up' voice.
She left the next morning to see her mom and luckily she was up Friday morning to say goodbye and I got my hugs. While we always miss Gracie while she is gone, I miss her more than usual because it feels like I've seen her for a hot second over the course of the week.
I know this is all temporary, but I worry about her. As I mentioned before she has been through a lot and I try so hard to give her stability. She is a strong little girl and I know I'm probably making a mountain out of a mole hill, but I worry that her stability has been rocked a little and that she is disappointed that some of our summer plans aren't panning out.
But while I was driving in and missing our time together I was thinking about what this is teaching her. I hope that this is teaching her that in our family we work hard, we support each other, that girls can do whatever they aspire to do (she is always asking us things like "can a girl be a scientist") and most importantly we follow our dreams. Gracie knows how working in TV is what I love to do, so I hope she sees that no matter what we can follow our dreams and how its possible with a supportive family.
Father's Day Fail
As the Step-Mom, I have made it my mission to make sure CJ knows how great of a dad he is on Father's day, as well as Gracie's Opa (her Grandfather - CJ's stepfather). To Gracie, her Dad is the light of her life. She is a Daddy's girl through and through and I felt it important to help her show her Dad and Opa how important they really are to her. And as always, as a Step-Mom I feel the need to go above and beyond probably what is normal.
We couldn't afford to get the gifts that I really wanted to get, so once again I had to get creative. I logged onto Pinterest and searched for hours and pinned like it was my job trying to find the right gifts that would convey the meaning of the day and Gracie's feelings (even if it is a so called Hallmark holiday). Now, this is where things started to go downhill...
I first thought it would be an amazing to incorporate CJ's dad into the gifts. Even though he has passed, he is always in CJ's thoughts and tries to parent like him. He truly was his role model, so I thought incorporating him into the gifts would be a great idea. Right?! I saw those generational photos on Pinterest - the kind of the photo of someone holding a photo holding a photo. I thought this would be great. So I went through painstaking detail to find a picture of CJ's dad (I managed to find one of him holding Gracie as a baby), then had to talk CJ into taking a picture holding the photo without him seeing it and then had to have Gracie hold it while trying to explain the concept to her - a concept she didn't seem to think was as great as I thought it was. I was hoping the finished product would look like this (what I found on Pinterest):
What I wound up with is below. Now, obviously it didn't look AS silly with the coverups I placed to conceal Gracie and CJ's identity, but it still didn't look good. I clearly needed to do this in black and white, had a darker background, have more patience and most importantly not think I am a professional photographer. Problem is, I just took on a Freelance job (more on that in my next blog) and I was trying to pull this all together at 9pm the night before Father's day - so as much as this sucked, its what CJ was getting because I didn't have much else.
.JPG)
As with anything Gracie gives CJ he said he liked the gift and put the photo up in our room. I cringe every time I see it as I feel like its a constant reminder that I could have done so much better on this one. I got a nice Mother's Day (even though Im technically not a mom) and feel like I failed CJ on this one.
Gracie's Opa is a wonderful man. He loves her with everything he has and would do anything in the world for her. His face TRULY lights up bright when she walks into the room and you can very much feel the love he has for her when they are in the same room together. I believe she is one lucky to have an Opa like the one she does (and her Oma too). Opa isn't a real emotional man, but anything that has to do with Gracie he cries. It's awesome and I love it! He'll cry if she sings in the Christmas chorus at school, or will tear up at times when she says how much she loves him. He is very special to her so I wanted to make a special gift. I forgot to take a photo of the final gift, but take my word for it, it SUCKED. Its was a photo frame with two photos, one with Gracie and Opa and one that looked like the pic below. I badly wrote on the frame matting "I'm as lucky as can be, because the best Opa in the world belongs to me". In theory it was great, putting it together at 10pm the night before was a disaster. My handwriting was awful and I couldn't get Gracie to really get into taking the picture. So I wound up with the one below in black and white. To top it off when I printed it at Target they printed the wrong size and couldn't print a new one for me. I was so disappointed :( However, Opa still loved his gift and in true fashion it still brought tears to his eyes.
.JPG)
.JPG)
We couldn't afford to get the gifts that I really wanted to get, so once again I had to get creative. I logged onto Pinterest and searched for hours and pinned like it was my job trying to find the right gifts that would convey the meaning of the day and Gracie's feelings (even if it is a so called Hallmark holiday). Now, this is where things started to go downhill...
I first thought it would be an amazing to incorporate CJ's dad into the gifts. Even though he has passed, he is always in CJ's thoughts and tries to parent like him. He truly was his role model, so I thought incorporating him into the gifts would be a great idea. Right?! I saw those generational photos on Pinterest - the kind of the photo of someone holding a photo holding a photo. I thought this would be great. So I went through painstaking detail to find a picture of CJ's dad (I managed to find one of him holding Gracie as a baby), then had to talk CJ into taking a picture holding the photo without him seeing it and then had to have Gracie hold it while trying to explain the concept to her - a concept she didn't seem to think was as great as I thought it was. I was hoping the finished product would look like this (what I found on Pinterest):
What I wound up with is below. Now, obviously it didn't look AS silly with the coverups I placed to conceal Gracie and CJ's identity, but it still didn't look good. I clearly needed to do this in black and white, had a darker background, have more patience and most importantly not think I am a professional photographer. Problem is, I just took on a Freelance job (more on that in my next blog) and I was trying to pull this all together at 9pm the night before Father's day - so as much as this sucked, its what CJ was getting because I didn't have much else.
As with anything Gracie gives CJ he said he liked the gift and put the photo up in our room. I cringe every time I see it as I feel like its a constant reminder that I could have done so much better on this one. I got a nice Mother's Day (even though Im technically not a mom) and feel like I failed CJ on this one.
Gracie's Opa is a wonderful man. He loves her with everything he has and would do anything in the world for her. His face TRULY lights up bright when she walks into the room and you can very much feel the love he has for her when they are in the same room together. I believe she is one lucky to have an Opa like the one she does (and her Oma too). Opa isn't a real emotional man, but anything that has to do with Gracie he cries. It's awesome and I love it! He'll cry if she sings in the Christmas chorus at school, or will tear up at times when she says how much she loves him. He is very special to her so I wanted to make a special gift. I forgot to take a photo of the final gift, but take my word for it, it SUCKED. Its was a photo frame with two photos, one with Gracie and Opa and one that looked like the pic below. I badly wrote on the frame matting "I'm as lucky as can be, because the best Opa in the world belongs to me". In theory it was great, putting it together at 10pm the night before was a disaster. My handwriting was awful and I couldn't get Gracie to really get into taking the picture. So I wound up with the one below in black and white. To top it off when I printed it at Target they printed the wrong size and couldn't print a new one for me. I was so disappointed :( However, Opa still loved his gift and in true fashion it still brought tears to his eyes.
To be fair, we did have one Father's Day win. It was this plate Gracie and I made before I started working. She insisted I write "MMMM...Time for BBQ" at the top, and I think its fabulous!
Sunday, June 8, 2014
The Summer Slide
Now that the school year is officially over, and summer has started, I've become determined not to let Gracie fall victim to what the school apparently calls "The Summer Slide" (its basically when students don't do any sort of educational engagement over the summer). I don't want to be the killjoy and suck all the fun out of summer, but also refuse to let Gracie fall behind. I used to hate, I mean HAAATE when my parents made me do school work over the summer but in hindsight they were right, and thus I've fallen victim to another way I'm turning into my mother. BUT with that said, there were times where I felt dumb in school - like when I didn't understand math (actually, I'm still not good at stupid math) and I don't want Gracie to have that same feeling.
The teacher was great and sent home tons of resources for us to tap into over the summer, and gave us great lists of things to do. Additionally, there are things that Gracie needs to really strengthen before first grade starts - so I'm taking this on as part of my challenge this summer. I've renamed this summer to be "The most FUUUNN and education summer ever" (changed from "The most fun summer ever!!").
I've decided to tackle this challenge by creating a learning board for the kitchen. Much like a chore chart, our learning chart has a different subject to work on every day. If Gracie works on that subject with me for 30 minutes that day she will earn a purple star - if she gets a full week of purple stars she will have earned a prize for the week. I'm still working on the prizes but so far I've come up with the following:
- Ice Cream Date with Daddy
- Visit to the Glazer Children's museum or MOSI (does this really count as a prize if its still
educational?)
- Activity of your choice from the bucket
- 1 toy (within reason) at Toys R Us
Looking back at the chart I made, it seems a little intense. But none the less, we are going to try it. Wish us luck!
.JPG)
The teacher was great and sent home tons of resources for us to tap into over the summer, and gave us great lists of things to do. Additionally, there are things that Gracie needs to really strengthen before first grade starts - so I'm taking this on as part of my challenge this summer. I've renamed this summer to be "The most FUUUNN and education summer ever" (changed from "The most fun summer ever!!").
I've decided to tackle this challenge by creating a learning board for the kitchen. Much like a chore chart, our learning chart has a different subject to work on every day. If Gracie works on that subject with me for 30 minutes that day she will earn a purple star - if she gets a full week of purple stars she will have earned a prize for the week. I'm still working on the prizes but so far I've come up with the following:
- Ice Cream Date with Daddy
- Visit to the Glazer Children's museum or MOSI (does this really count as a prize if its still
educational?)
- Activity of your choice from the bucket
- 1 toy (within reason) at Toys R Us
Looking back at the chart I made, it seems a little intense. But none the less, we are going to try it. Wish us luck!
Thursday, June 5, 2014
I Think I Might Have Overdone It
Yesterday was Gracie's last day of Kindergarten and I was so immensely excited for her (perhaps more excited than she was)! Not only were we so proud of her successfully finishing through a tough year, but I have also exhausted myself Pinteresting and planning "the most exciting summer ever"! I was also super excited that we got Gracie on the last day of school....because that meant IIII got to plan something fun! I thought this is going to be my shining moment of awesomeness! ha!
And so ensued the madness. I came up with everything I could and spent 3 days putting the house together. As many of you know, we can't really spend any kind of money so I had to use free resources at my disposal. First, I decided we need to center our "celebration" around a poem, which I wrote over and over again and wound up with this:
Your year in kindergarten is now through,
and we’re so proud of you.
You learned about reading, writing and math
and always took your bath.
You learned how to buy lunch
and made friends by the bunch.
Mrs. Supper taught you about good choices
and how to use your voices.
You worked hard and did your best to get a purple
and always paid attention in reading circle.
You worked hard in school,
and now its time to swim in the pool,
sing on the swing,
have fun in the sun,
and even eat a hot dog bun
But first lets take a look
at the incredible kindergarten journey you took…
Love,
Daddy and Stephanie
I then centered this around a wall that featured some of her finest work throughout Kindergarten. I put up a "Congratulations Smarty Pants" Banner that I found on Five Heart Home.
.JPG)
I then saw a few people who put up signs that listed what their kids accomplished so I did my own spin on it with a blackboard header that I found on Oh So Printable. I used this as a backdrop for her last day of school photo.
.JPG)
But then I felt like we needed some FUN at our celebration! So I dug out some balloons and some old streamers and strung them up, I drew outside the front door with chalk and created a "welcome to summer" run through at the front door. I found the sign at Seven Thirty Three. I also created a wish balloon that she could send to the sky, and hope for all of her fun summer time wishes to come true
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
Was this all over the top? Probably and totally YES. At first when we picked her up from school, she didn't seem that excited and I was like, Hello!!! It's Summer Vacation! and Gracie was so Ho-Hum about it. I thought uh-oh. However, when Gracie came home from school and saw everything she LOOOOVED it! She ran through the door sign that "starts summer" and squealed with delight. She said "Stephanie and Daddy, this made me SO happy". She sang, danced and laughed and then proceeded to tell us about all of the work that was up on the wall. I think she too, was so proud of herself. And to me, that is what is the most important.
And so ensued the madness. I came up with everything I could and spent 3 days putting the house together. As many of you know, we can't really spend any kind of money so I had to use free resources at my disposal. First, I decided we need to center our "celebration" around a poem, which I wrote over and over again and wound up with this:
Your year in kindergarten is now through,
and we’re so proud of you.
You learned about reading, writing and math
and always took your bath.
You learned how to buy lunch
and made friends by the bunch.
Mrs. Supper taught you about good choices
and how to use your voices.
You worked hard and did your best to get a purple
and always paid attention in reading circle.
You worked hard in school,
and now its time to swim in the pool,
sing on the swing,
have fun in the sun,
and even eat a hot dog bun
But first lets take a look
at the incredible kindergarten journey you took…
Love,
Daddy and Stephanie
I then centered this around a wall that featured some of her finest work throughout Kindergarten. I put up a "Congratulations Smarty Pants" Banner that I found on Five Heart Home.
I then saw a few people who put up signs that listed what their kids accomplished so I did my own spin on it with a blackboard header that I found on Oh So Printable. I used this as a backdrop for her last day of school photo.
But then I felt like we needed some FUN at our celebration! So I dug out some balloons and some old streamers and strung them up, I drew outside the front door with chalk and created a "welcome to summer" run through at the front door. I found the sign at Seven Thirty Three. I also created a wish balloon that she could send to the sky, and hope for all of her fun summer time wishes to come true
"Summer is Done, Now its time for some FUN!"
"I am a wish balloon. Take me outside and let me fly, I will take your wishes to the sky!"
Was this all over the top? Probably and totally YES. At first when we picked her up from school, she didn't seem that excited and I was like, Hello!!! It's Summer Vacation! and Gracie was so Ho-Hum about it. I thought uh-oh. However, when Gracie came home from school and saw everything she LOOOOVED it! She ran through the door sign that "starts summer" and squealed with delight. She said "Stephanie and Daddy, this made me SO happy". She sang, danced and laughed and then proceeded to tell us about all of the work that was up on the wall. I think she too, was so proud of herself. And to me, that is what is the most important.
The Apple
I truly believe that teachers are so under appreciated these days. They spend most of their time managing parents and kids "issues" that I find it a small miracle that learning actually happens some days. So when you encounter a great teacher, I feel its so important to thank them for doing the incredible work that is truly thankless.
Gracie was so blessed to have an amazing Kindergarten teacher who not only helped her learn more than what I learned by the end of first grade, but was also caring, compassionate and determined not to let any child fall behind in their class. She put a ton of effort into Gracie when she was struggling in her studies and helped her through some time times that were happening at home. She is one of those teachers that I know we will never forget.
Mrs. Supper gave Gracie an amazing foundation for her education and encouraged a great enthusiasm for learning. Throughout the year we were diligent to give the obligatory Christmas and Teacher Appreciation gifts, but wanted to give her something to show her how special we really think she is.
So I spent a great deal of time searching, looking and Pinteresting the perfect gift. I couldn't find anything as I felt like there really wasn't anything that matched her personality and how much we wanted to thank her.
Until....I found the perfect Alex and Ani Bracelet. More than the bracelet, I loved the message behind it. We gave it to her at the end of the day at the last day of school, so we don't know if she liked it, but either way I hope she understands our appreciation.
.JPG)
.JPG)
Gracie was so blessed to have an amazing Kindergarten teacher who not only helped her learn more than what I learned by the end of first grade, but was also caring, compassionate and determined not to let any child fall behind in their class. She put a ton of effort into Gracie when she was struggling in her studies and helped her through some time times that were happening at home. She is one of those teachers that I know we will never forget.
Mrs. Supper gave Gracie an amazing foundation for her education and encouraged a great enthusiasm for learning. Throughout the year we were diligent to give the obligatory Christmas and Teacher Appreciation gifts, but wanted to give her something to show her how special we really think she is.
So I spent a great deal of time searching, looking and Pinteresting the perfect gift. I couldn't find anything as I felt like there really wasn't anything that matched her personality and how much we wanted to thank her.
Until....I found the perfect Alex and Ani Bracelet. More than the bracelet, I loved the message behind it. We gave it to her at the end of the day at the last day of school, so we don't know if she liked it, but either way I hope she understands our appreciation.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Fitting in and trying to figure it out
With the school year winding up there are so many activities to celebrate the end of Kindergarten for Gracie. While I'm so excited for her and immensely proud of everything she accomplished, I'm finding it very hard to figure out where I belong in the mix of everything.
On Friday I rushed home from a work trip in order to make it to Gracie's Portfolio day. CJ has always been supportive and said I should go to the event, but as it drew closer the more unsure I became of whether or not I should actually go. I knew Gracie's mom was going to be at the event (as she should be and totally nothing wrong with that), but then I felt like if both her mom and dad are there where do I fit in?!?! I feel silly going and almost like its not my place to be there. Its something I always struggle with when it comes to events like this. Where do I stand? Who do I talk to? What do I do when I'm there? How do I assert myself to ask the teacher every question I have without stepping on anyone's toes? Also as a child of divorce myself, I can understand the anxiety involved in having your divorced mom and dad in the same room without any additional stress. I want to save Gracie from that anxiety and surely don't want me to be the source of that anxiety.
Additionally, my confidence in Being Gracie's Step-Mom has been knocked down a few rungs because some people in her life have told her "Stephanie isn't your Step-Mom yet because she isn't married to your dad yet" (only because we can't afford a wedding). I feel like I am, but it just makes me feel a little more lost in this tough journey to becoming the best Step-Mom I can be.
So do I go? Do I not go? I decided to wait until the end of the even and only stop by. Everything was fine and I was so proud of Gracie and everything she accomplished, but still felt out of place.
Then, she had a school gathering this morning at a Spray Park with all her classmates to celebrate the end of Kindergarten. This time it was a little easier as it was just myself and CJ bringing Gracie to the event. First let me say though, how did we get to be so old?! CJ and I were the oldest Kindergarten parents there by a good few years.
I tried to talk to the other moms who were there as I wanted to exchange phone numbers so that we could arrange play dates throughout the summer. However, it was harder than I thought. I had one mom say to me "oh you're just her Step-Mom" and had Gracie come up and say to a mother who I was speaking to "she's not my Step-Mom yet". I know that Gracie is just repeating what she has heard and we have a good relationship, but it is still difficult to hear - maybe just because my confidence has been knocked down a little bit?
But then I thought, ummm don't over 50% of married couples wind up in divorce? So I mean our family really isn't an anomaly these days is it? I feel like I couldn't have been the only Step-Mom there, but I surely felt like it.
But I'm not going to let any of these people and what they have to say get to the best of me because I know that every day, no matter what, I try my very hardest to be the best I can be for Gracie. CJ and I try to show her every day what true love is, what partnership is, what happiness is and to encourage her to dream. Sure, none of us are perfect but I think trying my best and making an effort to make Gracie's life the best it can be is a good place to start, and at the end of the day I truly don't believe there is anything wrong with that and I will not fail her by letting my own insecurities get in the way.
On Friday I rushed home from a work trip in order to make it to Gracie's Portfolio day. CJ has always been supportive and said I should go to the event, but as it drew closer the more unsure I became of whether or not I should actually go. I knew Gracie's mom was going to be at the event (as she should be and totally nothing wrong with that), but then I felt like if both her mom and dad are there where do I fit in?!?! I feel silly going and almost like its not my place to be there. Its something I always struggle with when it comes to events like this. Where do I stand? Who do I talk to? What do I do when I'm there? How do I assert myself to ask the teacher every question I have without stepping on anyone's toes? Also as a child of divorce myself, I can understand the anxiety involved in having your divorced mom and dad in the same room without any additional stress. I want to save Gracie from that anxiety and surely don't want me to be the source of that anxiety.
Additionally, my confidence in Being Gracie's Step-Mom has been knocked down a few rungs because some people in her life have told her "Stephanie isn't your Step-Mom yet because she isn't married to your dad yet" (only because we can't afford a wedding). I feel like I am, but it just makes me feel a little more lost in this tough journey to becoming the best Step-Mom I can be.
So do I go? Do I not go? I decided to wait until the end of the even and only stop by. Everything was fine and I was so proud of Gracie and everything she accomplished, but still felt out of place.
Then, she had a school gathering this morning at a Spray Park with all her classmates to celebrate the end of Kindergarten. This time it was a little easier as it was just myself and CJ bringing Gracie to the event. First let me say though, how did we get to be so old?! CJ and I were the oldest Kindergarten parents there by a good few years.
I tried to talk to the other moms who were there as I wanted to exchange phone numbers so that we could arrange play dates throughout the summer. However, it was harder than I thought. I had one mom say to me "oh you're just her Step-Mom" and had Gracie come up and say to a mother who I was speaking to "she's not my Step-Mom yet". I know that Gracie is just repeating what she has heard and we have a good relationship, but it is still difficult to hear - maybe just because my confidence has been knocked down a little bit?
But then I thought, ummm don't over 50% of married couples wind up in divorce? So I mean our family really isn't an anomaly these days is it? I feel like I couldn't have been the only Step-Mom there, but I surely felt like it.
But I'm not going to let any of these people and what they have to say get to the best of me because I know that every day, no matter what, I try my very hardest to be the best I can be for Gracie. CJ and I try to show her every day what true love is, what partnership is, what happiness is and to encourage her to dream. Sure, none of us are perfect but I think trying my best and making an effort to make Gracie's life the best it can be is a good place to start, and at the end of the day I truly don't believe there is anything wrong with that and I will not fail her by letting my own insecurities get in the way.
Martha Stewart I am not...not even close
When re-doing Gracie's playroom, we had to pool our resources together and get some free stuff in order to put the room together. We got this great bookshelf that was in perfect condition, but it was black and boring and not really what I'd consider "playroom friendly".
So in my head I thought, I so got this...I am a Pinterest Queen. Well, I started painting and what we wound up with is colorful, but not necessarily my best work. My fun polka dots turned into crazy looking flowers when I thought I could "spice" it up even more.
Luckily Gracie likes it, but oye not at all what I had imagined in my head! What I did was paint everything white first, and then went back over it with color so it would really "pop". Yeah, it pops alright.
So in my head I thought, I so got this...I am a Pinterest Queen. Well, I started painting and what we wound up with is colorful, but not necessarily my best work. My fun polka dots turned into crazy looking flowers when I thought I could "spice" it up even more.
Luckily Gracie likes it, but oye not at all what I had imagined in my head! What I did was paint everything white first, and then went back over it with color so it would really "pop". Yeah, it pops alright.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Its Play Time!
We recently moved into a new rental home that is big (great) and allows us to spread out (not so great - our junk is just spreading). This is the first time Gracie has had a room that we have deemed her "play room". I was SUPER excited about this room as she has a TON of toys. While I try my best to keep them under control its a little tough as CJ and Gracie are not purgers.
In theory I was super excited about the Playroom so we could keep things a little more orderly and she'd have a nice place to play. Unfortunately, my theory and dream of a nice play for her to play was just that - a theory. We have a lot going on, are tight on time some days, are on a very tight budget and I'm generally absolutely exhausted at the end of every day - especially when we have Gracie as I try to give her everything I can when we are together. And lets be honest, I'm either an all or nothing kind of girl who can either go all in with my vision or do nothing at all. I was doing nothing at all since we didn't really have the budget to do much. And my vision of course was grand as I always want the most amazing, best, and fun things for her.
Anyhow, since our budget was very small we spent some time acquiring things to organize the toys. We finally got a decent bookcase (I'll post on that 'artful disaster' later, but lets just say I think I'm Martha Stewart, and I'm so not) and I was motivated to get the mess under control. Gracie wasn't playing with any of her toys in the room and certainly not enjoying the room as the toys were just dumped in there and it wasn't a nice play to play.
After two days of very hard work of sorting and organizing, I was able to get the room under control for very little money. We are in a rental so options with altering the room too much are quite limited. As mentioned above we got a free bookshelf and I was able to get two Circo Toy Organizers (including the bins) on sale. I got fabric from Hobby Lobby on sale and with a coupon and tacked it to the wall to use as curtains as I needed to forgo a curtain rod. I then took off two of her closet doors and am in the process of creating a reading nook in there. We had to store some stuff on the shelf at the top of that closet so I used the left over fabric to create a curtain over the storage.
I have to say I'm really proud of myself with the final result and am even more elated that Gracie LOVES it! Now, if I can just get the rest of our house together
In theory I was super excited about the Playroom so we could keep things a little more orderly and she'd have a nice place to play. Unfortunately, my theory and dream of a nice play for her to play was just that - a theory. We have a lot going on, are tight on time some days, are on a very tight budget and I'm generally absolutely exhausted at the end of every day - especially when we have Gracie as I try to give her everything I can when we are together. And lets be honest, I'm either an all or nothing kind of girl who can either go all in with my vision or do nothing at all. I was doing nothing at all since we didn't really have the budget to do much. And my vision of course was grand as I always want the most amazing, best, and fun things for her.
Anyhow, since our budget was very small we spent some time acquiring things to organize the toys. We finally got a decent bookcase (I'll post on that 'artful disaster' later, but lets just say I think I'm Martha Stewart, and I'm so not) and I was motivated to get the mess under control. Gracie wasn't playing with any of her toys in the room and certainly not enjoying the room as the toys were just dumped in there and it wasn't a nice play to play.
After two days of very hard work of sorting and organizing, I was able to get the room under control for very little money. We are in a rental so options with altering the room too much are quite limited. As mentioned above we got a free bookshelf and I was able to get two Circo Toy Organizers (including the bins) on sale. I got fabric from Hobby Lobby on sale and with a coupon and tacked it to the wall to use as curtains as I needed to forgo a curtain rod. I then took off two of her closet doors and am in the process of creating a reading nook in there. We had to store some stuff on the shelf at the top of that closet so I used the left over fabric to create a curtain over the storage.
I have to say I'm really proud of myself with the final result and am even more elated that Gracie LOVES it! Now, if I can just get the rest of our house together
Monday, May 19, 2014
The progression of becoming a Steph-Mom
Even though I love Gracie more than anything in this world, our relationship hasn't always been easy street. When CJ and I first got together she was only 4 and was used to having her beloved and very caring Dad ALLL to herself. And while we got along there were still challenging times.
Both Gracie and I are two very strong willed girls, and certainly have that in common. We both like things the way we like them and although that combination can be great, it can also be challenging. To her credit, I'm sure being a 4 year old and having your world changed and having another adult coming in to tell you what to do was not easy.
There would be times where my feelings would be hurt by of the things that she would say or do, but CJ would always remind me that she was only 5 and she is trying to find her way. Now when I look back and reflect, he was so right. In the moment its easy to say, what am I doing wrong? and I don't want to make her life harder, I want to make it easier. The more I thought about it I realized that life is hard these days to figure out at 35, far less at 5. I spent a good deal of time working on my patience, and stood firm on trying to be the best steph-mom I could be...always reminding myself she is 5 and trying to figure life out herself.
The other night while making dinner together, CJ and I were talking about Gracie's day and he said to me "It's really amazing how far you and Gracie have come". His comment really took me back for a minute, because now things are great. Our relationship is very natural and is very strong. As we talked about it I realized how right he was. I'm proud of the hard work that both Gracie and I have put into our relationship and how it hasn't taken us much time to be great! She said to me this morning as I was getting her ready (in a rush as usual and frantically looking for socks) "Stephanie??" and I said "yes". silence. I then said "yes sweetie, what is it we are in a hurry." and she looks at me and says "I really love you". Those little words make any kind of struggle so worthwhile.
Both Gracie and I are two very strong willed girls, and certainly have that in common. We both like things the way we like them and although that combination can be great, it can also be challenging. To her credit, I'm sure being a 4 year old and having your world changed and having another adult coming in to tell you what to do was not easy.
There would be times where my feelings would be hurt by of the things that she would say or do, but CJ would always remind me that she was only 5 and she is trying to find her way. Now when I look back and reflect, he was so right. In the moment its easy to say, what am I doing wrong? and I don't want to make her life harder, I want to make it easier. The more I thought about it I realized that life is hard these days to figure out at 35, far less at 5. I spent a good deal of time working on my patience, and stood firm on trying to be the best steph-mom I could be...always reminding myself she is 5 and trying to figure life out herself.
The other night while making dinner together, CJ and I were talking about Gracie's day and he said to me "It's really amazing how far you and Gracie have come". His comment really took me back for a minute, because now things are great. Our relationship is very natural and is very strong. As we talked about it I realized how right he was. I'm proud of the hard work that both Gracie and I have put into our relationship and how it hasn't taken us much time to be great! She said to me this morning as I was getting her ready (in a rush as usual and frantically looking for socks) "Stephanie??" and I said "yes". silence. I then said "yes sweetie, what is it we are in a hurry." and she looks at me and says "I really love you". Those little words make any kind of struggle so worthwhile.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
My name is Stephanie and I'm a Pinterest Addict
Whew, ever since this little spunky, crazy, smart, fun, and sassy 5 year old has come into my life, my addiction to Pinterest has become nothing but out of control!
I think of all kinds of stuff to look up, to pin and to create to be the best Steph-Mom I can be. Unfortunately however, 90% of my Pinterest attempts FAIL. Like complete waste of time fail. Like those Easter bread bunnies? burned blobs. That awesome Halloween wreath? Scarier than Halloween itself. That beautiful and "easy" blanket ladder? Doesn't stand up.
But what doesn't fail is every time I log on I become a crafting, homemaker extraordinaire....in my head at least. I think to myself OMG this Pin is amazing and I could EASILY do this, and OMG these are all amazing Summer fun ideas and we are going to rock these and Gracie is going to have the best summer of her life and OMG the teachers are going to LOOOOVVE us with these thank you gifts and OMG if I decorate our house like this we will have the most gorgeous house ever and OMG our lives are going to be so much easier with these organizing ideas.
I am determined however to make my Pinterest addiction worthwhile and am going to be working on a Pinterest idea a day and will be posting it on here. So bring it on Pinterest --- I will conquer your ideas! You will not get the best of me!
I think of all kinds of stuff to look up, to pin and to create to be the best Steph-Mom I can be. Unfortunately however, 90% of my Pinterest attempts FAIL. Like complete waste of time fail. Like those Easter bread bunnies? burned blobs. That awesome Halloween wreath? Scarier than Halloween itself. That beautiful and "easy" blanket ladder? Doesn't stand up.
But what doesn't fail is every time I log on I become a crafting, homemaker extraordinaire....in my head at least. I think to myself OMG this Pin is amazing and I could EASILY do this, and OMG these are all amazing Summer fun ideas and we are going to rock these and Gracie is going to have the best summer of her life and OMG the teachers are going to LOOOOVVE us with these thank you gifts and OMG if I decorate our house like this we will have the most gorgeous house ever and OMG our lives are going to be so much easier with these organizing ideas.
I am determined however to make my Pinterest addiction worthwhile and am going to be working on a Pinterest idea a day and will be posting it on here. So bring it on Pinterest --- I will conquer your ideas! You will not get the best of me!
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Mother's Day as a Steph-Mom
Mother's Day gets a little tricky as a Step-parent - or at least I thought. We did not have Gracie on Mother's Day as she was spending the weekend with her mom (as she should) so Thursday was the last day we were going to see her before the big day.
I unfortunately was quite sick on that day (from a bad tooth) and CJ had to pick Gracie up from school. When they came home she came running in saying "Happy Un-Mother's Day"! She was so proud of herself for getting some really nice gifts together for me for Mother's Day. She made me a really cute card (pictured below), brought me flowers and went with her dad to go buy me new pearl earrings. I had a pair of pearl earrings that were pretty much my "every day" earrings and they recently broke. I didn't think I'd be able to get another pair for quite a while, so I was so surprised that they got me a new pair!
Even though I'm not a biological mom, this meant more to me than words can say! It was nice for a good laugh too - I like how she describes me in her school "interview". The card says "Thank You for being the best Steph-Mom Ever....."
I unfortunately was quite sick on that day (from a bad tooth) and CJ had to pick Gracie up from school. When they came home she came running in saying "Happy Un-Mother's Day"! She was so proud of herself for getting some really nice gifts together for me for Mother's Day. She made me a really cute card (pictured below), brought me flowers and went with her dad to go buy me new pearl earrings. I had a pair of pearl earrings that were pretty much my "every day" earrings and they recently broke. I didn't think I'd be able to get another pair for quite a while, so I was so surprised that they got me a new pair!
Even though I'm not a biological mom, this meant more to me than words can say! It was nice for a good laugh too - I like how she describes me in her school "interview". The card says "Thank You for being the best Steph-Mom Ever....."
Friday, May 9, 2014
Taking the Leap
I've thought long and hard about writing about my unexpected, challenging and magnificent foray into Step-Motherhood for a while now. But after a few family discussions, I've decided to take the big leap! I was hesitant to write about this as I am very concerned about protecting the privacy of both my fiance and soon-to-be step-daughter, so with that said, I have changed their names in this blog in order to protect their privacy.
After CJ and I had been dating for a little bit, he announced that he would like for me to meet his daughter (whom BTW, is his EVERYTHING!) AND when it was time for me to meet Gracie I was thrilled, honored, and scared to death. All I knew about being a step-parent was what I basically saw in the movies and what I learned from a close family friend. But I knew I loved CJ, and knew Gracie was meant to be in my life. We moved in together over a year ago and even though my journey into parenthood hasn't always been easy - it has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
The biggest challenge for this control freak, is trying not to take over every. single. parenting. duty. and wanting to protect Gracie from the world. I want to be the classroom teacher. I want to do all the after school planning. I want to do. it. all. and be super mom! However, always present in my mind is the very real fact that she has a biological mother whom she loves (and who loves her), and sees 50% of the time - so, I a always try very VERY hard to not replace her mother, but instead to be an addition to her life. I do my very best to respect this every day. Believe me, its a very difficult balance to strike! We have spent our time growing together, learning each other, and giving each other happiness beyond each of our wildest dreams. I could have never imagined this small child changing and filling my life with such joy - but she has and I will forever be grateful to CJ for bringing her into my life.
Now, I don't mean for this post to sound like everything is sunshine and roses, because its not. Being a step-parent requires courage, bravery and a big ole helping of humility. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.
While CJ and I aren't yet married, we are engaged and consider our marriage a technicality at this point (believe me I would love a wedding, but due to very difficult financial circumstances that you can read about on my other blog we can't have a wedding just yet). Both CJ, Gracie and myself regard me as her step-mom and wouldn't have it any other way.
Oh and one more thing, the title of this blog is "Steph-Mom" because Gracie made this up and I think its genius and perfectly fitting for our relationship.
After CJ and I had been dating for a little bit, he announced that he would like for me to meet his daughter (whom BTW, is his EVERYTHING!) AND when it was time for me to meet Gracie I was thrilled, honored, and scared to death. All I knew about being a step-parent was what I basically saw in the movies and what I learned from a close family friend. But I knew I loved CJ, and knew Gracie was meant to be in my life. We moved in together over a year ago and even though my journey into parenthood hasn't always been easy - it has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
The biggest challenge for this control freak, is trying not to take over every. single. parenting. duty. and wanting to protect Gracie from the world. I want to be the classroom teacher. I want to do all the after school planning. I want to do. it. all. and be super mom! However, always present in my mind is the very real fact that she has a biological mother whom she loves (and who loves her), and sees 50% of the time - so, I a always try very VERY hard to not replace her mother, but instead to be an addition to her life. I do my very best to respect this every day. Believe me, its a very difficult balance to strike! We have spent our time growing together, learning each other, and giving each other happiness beyond each of our wildest dreams. I could have never imagined this small child changing and filling my life with such joy - but she has and I will forever be grateful to CJ for bringing her into my life.
Now, I don't mean for this post to sound like everything is sunshine and roses, because its not. Being a step-parent requires courage, bravery and a big ole helping of humility. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.
While CJ and I aren't yet married, we are engaged and consider our marriage a technicality at this point (believe me I would love a wedding, but due to very difficult financial circumstances that you can read about on my other blog we can't have a wedding just yet). Both CJ, Gracie and myself regard me as her step-mom and wouldn't have it any other way.
Oh and one more thing, the title of this blog is "Steph-Mom" because Gracie made this up and I think its genius and perfectly fitting for our relationship.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)